zhenhui

Our deepest fear

2012-01-22T18:22:00.000+09:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

A conversation

2011-12-05T14:03:00.003+09:00

Sis: what type of craziness is it that causes a person to think working on a project on a Saturday evening is more "fun" that watching a movie at the cinema? kthxbye

(and by fun I mean "why am I not watching "Hugo" in 3D instead of poking at this code and wondering what the hell is going on with the code right now??)

Bro: lol i think projects are more fun then movies, especially if you understand the project. I have developed the habit of sleeping at cinemas anyway

Me: ....

Mum: not me, I won't be of any help. Macam tikus membaiki kelambu? Haha, better for u to figure it out yourself!

:like sister like brother or birds of the same feather?

Me: Well then that makes me a penguin, I guess.

Sis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKWNUyTGqss&t=1m

....

My family.

What would I ever be without them.

hello there

2011-10-30T21:56:00.004+09:00

hello there.

You're probably wondering what have I been up to.

Have been listening a lot lately.

Listening to people talk.

Listening to myself talk.

Just shutting up I guess.

don't worry.

I've been busy living life.

dude.

My life is awesome.

I just realized.

My life is amazingly awesome.

It's full of things that don't matter much to people, but makes me happy.

Petty stuff man.

Like, a nice pick and roll in a basketball game, you know.

Ain't nothing like a dunk. Or buzzer-beater 3 point shot.

Things that people dream of.

Working hard at the little things in life man.

The little things.

Till then I guess.

2011-07-09T08:23:00.002+09:00

Disclaimer:This is how a fanboy says goodbye.

I'm writing this to say thanks.

As you all might and might not know, Yao Ming has announced his retirement from the NBA.

I'm pretty sure you guys at least have heard of him.

The first asian player to be drafted as the overall No.1 pick in the NBA.

I still remember him being drafted in 2002.

I watched a Houston Rockets game the following year.

I literally remember just watching Yao play with Steve "Franchise" Francis.

I love steve too. But that's a whole different story.

Yao's had a few bumps on the road.

A knee injury that he's recovered from and then a foot injury that he suffered back in 2009 which ended his career.

When he came into the league, EVERYONE wanted to dunk on him.

It's pretty obvious i guess.

who wouldn't want to dunk on the No. 1 pick center from a foreign land?

They got a piece of him though.

for the first few months of the season.

But that was all before Yao got sick of all that.

Worked his butt off and before you know it,

he was pushing, elbowing and shouting vulgar words RIGHT IN the faces of the athletes who gave him shit.

He earned his respect.

Improved his game to and average of 13.5 points,8.2 rebounds and 1.74 blocks and ended up being runner-up for Rookie Of The Year.

and of course not forgetting the 8 consecutive All-Star appearances.

MAN.

To watch this guy come into the league as a rookie.

and watch him lead his team into the playoffs again and again.

to watch him get injured and recover again and again.

To hear all the criticism get thrown at him.

To watch him silence critics again and again.

To watch the 3 pointer he hit against the warriors.

To watch the behind-the-back dribble coast-to-coast-dunk.

To watch him AND Dikembe Mutombo together on the same team.

To watch him shoot from a wheel-chair when you were injured.

To watch him get married and have a family.

To watch him get injured.

and now to watch him retire.

It's a strange feeling.

I will miss this Yao Ming fella.

The whole Houston Rockets, NBA and the rest of the world will.

You've meant a lot to this unknown fanboy and other billions of unknown fanboys all over the world.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Yao Ming.

Thanks for all the memories :'(

I sincerely wish you all the best in life you legend.

ps: I'm gonna get your jersey one day. Because all true fanboys do.

SBNation's article

ESPN's article

2011-06-19T23:46:00.004+09:00

Happy father's day, Papa.

Sometimes i wonder if i'll ever be even half the man you are.

2011-06-12T21:37:00.003+09:00

what is up people..

random update random update.

what has happened between the last update and this...

um..

a lot.

schoolwork..

nuclear meltdown..

japanese political battles..

a relative's wedding..

a lot man...just a lot.

i'm writing this post because...i don't know man.

i do not live the most interesting of lives man.

an average day starts with me watching the news at 7 am..

head over to my "office" at 9.20am

i prefer to call it that.

rather than the term "lab".

it's really not what you would call a lab.

there's a computer and a desk and a chair...

and like 15 other people with the same setup...

you do your stuff..

be it preparing for a presentation...

processing data from an experiment..

prepare for job interviews..

etc etc.

and there's a dining area for you to have coffee breaks and what not.

the occasional chat with seniors and friends.

pretty comfortable i would say.

i'll post pics the next time i guess..if i remember.

so....that's that.

...

a random thought.

what is a "successful life"??

like...what defines that??

...

they say aim for the stars.

if you fail you land on the moon.

but what if you were beat down to earth in the first place?

what if you were beat down to earth so hard

that even to stand you will need a miracle?

what shitty stars will you even dream of aiming for then?

stand the fuck up and walk on.

appreciate what you have and

stop dreaming of aiming for shit man.

...

i have friends who are looking for jobs

they have to travel all over japan to look for ANY one company who would hire them.

and it's tough.

i've been there.

i know what it's like to get rejected again and again.

the thought of it is scary.

can't help but to think that

everybody wants the best that's out there.

companies want the best workers they can get.

universities want the the best students they can get.

what happens to those who don't do well?

...

this whole world should just stop teaching stories of successful people.

stop all that feel-good bullshit.

...

back to the question above.

what is a successful life?

i would settle for a steady job with a small family in a quiet little town.

i would totally be okay with that.

i really don't give a shit about how much money you have...

how do you compare with your peers.

speaking of which.

why the fuck do we as humans compare?

is there a necessity to compare?

eversince primary school level i would say

WHY THE FUCK do we have positions?

shit.

who cares how you rank in a class??

does it affect how you are as a human being??

isn't that the main point of being in a school?

to learn the necessary knowledge you will need in life?

so if you learn that shit properly where is the fucking need to see how you stack up against others?

what will that small filthy number mean in this huge huge world?

NOTHING!

it's the way we were brought up

to think that how we perform actually matters to other people.

like everyone's gonna CARE.

yes!!!

exactly!!

nobody cares!

NOBODY

in the end how you perform at something matters to noone BUT you.

the education system is wrong man.

if i were to have it my way

NO ranking systems in all schools.

yes you need the UPSR, PMR and SPM.

but scrap the top student bullshit.

how you perform should only matter to you and nobody else but you.

the ONLY person you need to beat is the one inside you telling you that you can't get shit done.

the one inside of you talking shit to you all the time.

beat him and you've beaten all you will ever need to.

this post was done in a shitty mood.

hence the vulgar language ALL OVER.

and the uncertain train of thoughts.

goodnight.

2011-04-26T21:48:00.004+09:00

shoo, negative thoughts.

....

it's funny because lately i've been thinking a lot about what i want to do later in life.

i'm obviously studying for "a better future".

or some people tell me that i am.

what exactly is a better future?

i just feel the term "a better future" is too vague.

or overused.

or both.

...

lately i've been really been learning how to be patient.

you people should test me.

i swear.

i'm really patient.

like everything you say to me goes to my brain first.

it used to go straight to the heart.

and i get offended very easily.

nowadays.

damn.

i'm like the dalai lama.

the secret is...

to detach yourself emotionally from everything around.

not taking everything to heart..

and by doing that,

i feel happy much less too.

no scratch that.

i do feel happy.

i just don't truly cherish stuff anymore.

you should have seen the 16 year old me.

everyday at school was beautiful.

i laughed hard.

i threw tantrums even harder.

i cried of joy, i cried of grief.

ask my parents. they know best.

which is why my high school days are the ones i cherish the most.

because i was still emotionally attached to everything i guess.

i didn't think that much.

but fair trade i guess.

being a boring and mundane emotionless person isn't that bad.

i get much less mood swings nowadays.

...

no you know what.

i actually prefer being moody.

i wanna truly feel a moment.

if i'm angry let me be really angry.

let me shout out "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!" at the top of my lungs.

if i'm happy let me be really happy.

let me jump and stranglehold my buddies.

i mean.

keeping a level head is total bullshit man.

2011-04-22T05:49:00.003+09:00

good morning.

it's pretty early here.

don't know what time it is when you are reading this...

but i've been waking up early to do stuff lately.

it's a busy year.

lab...and exams and what not.

i concentrate better in the early mornings so that's why i'm waking up early.

plus, the sky is prettier in the early mornings.

at least i think so.

although technically the sky is always the same.

it's how you light it up.

...

and also i've come to realize that time stops for noone really.

just another empty thought.

till then.

i love you ugly people.

...

2011-04-03T10:50:00.005+09:00

i will soooooooooooo go to disneysea this summer.

i will soooooooooooo GO TO DISNEYSEA THIS SUMMER!

i don't care if i go alone.

i don't care if i sit on roller-coasters with an empty seat beside me.]

i don't care if i order lunch alone.

HECK i don't care if i watch the night illumination shows alone.

I WILL GO TO DISNEYSEA THIS SUMMER!

felt good to get that off my chest.

wassup guys.

so what do we have on facebook this morning...

single people quoting phrases about love....

pictures of food...

pictures of people's faces...

the normal stuff man the normal stuff.

beautiful morning.

...

it's been a while.

from the last blog entry to this one, a whole lot has happened.

the big earthquake.

the tsunami that came with it.

the whole nuclear reactor problem.

practically the whole world came together to help japan.

people give a lot of bullshit to france for evacuating all of their people but nobody mentions how they are helping out with the nuclear problem.

malaysians do what we do best.

comedy.

exactly.

what you think the berita harian comic drawing and the first lady's speech was a fluke?

it was all planned comedy man.

if you didn't think that was funny well too bad.

i had a good laugh.

i think it was brilliant.

malaysia also sent help forces to japan.

but do you all get fussed over that?

apparently no.

...

i learnt quite a few important lessons from all this.

1. do not trust your local newspaper.

2. do NOT trust your local newspaper.

3. some people just want to die. they find all sorts of excuses to die. some radiation from japan will apparently cause acid rain and everyone will die.

4. some people like to appear to know everything.

5. some people just don't give a damn.

important right. life-savers right there.

...

now everytime i see someone posting an article from star newspaper or nst on facebook

i go "oh, he's cheap".

like you automatically rank below camwhores.

or "profesional profile pic photographers".

whichever you prefer.

...

ps:all the above was supposed to be read in a mellow post-april fool's day-ish tone.

unless you are some secret spy in charge of digging up the japanese government's dirtiest secrets, you probably do not know anything.

it's okay. we all don't.

3d

2011-03-05T22:15:00.007+09:00

sooooo.... what is up people.

haven't had the time to update this blog lol

i mean i have not been exactly that busy.

3 weeks of exam and that's it basically.

so yeahhhh

first post since the "emo" post

haha

guys i'm not emo.

i rarely get emo nowadays man.

but it's not like i'm going happy-go-lucky on you guys or something man.

i just do it less.

so my friends are getting married.

not to each other, though.

both getting married to high school friends i guess.

yup.

well congratulations to both of them.

new life. new responsibilities. new mentality.

must be exciting.

i've always wondered what it feels like to you know, work your butt off

and then come back to toddlers waiting desperately for you.

you know, shouting "PAPA!!!PAPA!!!" at the top of their lungs, grabbing to the doors because they don't know how to open it.

and these guys are about to have lives like that in 2 or 3 years i would say.

wow man.

...

you know what else i've been thinking about??

this dude!!!

lol.

the dude up there is guna.

a really really close friend from my high school days.

he's looks Indian but don't let his looks fool you.

he's chinese. or at least i think he is.

but he doesn't think so.

he thinks he's black.

with swagga and all.

but yeah. lol

that's not my point.

my point is...i have a new HD webcam.

ohohohohohoh

so yeah if you haven't seen me in a while...video-call me man.

make group calls. high-school group calls would be off the hook!!! yeah.

...

FINALLY.

the main point for this post.

I've finally started making some progress in the 3d department.

it's something new

i really have no clue when it comes to all of these.

kinda like when i started photoshop.

i still remember everything.

i started messing around with photos and what not.

there was lomo.

you guys remember lomo don't you.

the weird colored photos.

haha.

i used to that. 3 years back. lol

i used to LOVE that shit man.

i still do.

i love film photos.

they are purrrtyyy.

digital and film photos are like you know, two girls.

one all dolled up in pressed shirts and tense and all.

the other one has a straw hat on with loose t-shirt and baggy cargo pants folded up holding her sandals in one hand walking barefooted backlit by a beautiful sunset or something...

you get my point here????

lol

so yeah from lomo

i started learning how to develop black and white films and print them in darkroom and all.

that was seriously cool

like, that is something i'm actually proud of.

i can literally operate a darkroom.

anyways.

i felt that i couldn't control the end result when i wanted to.

so i went digital. quaquaqua~~

i started messing with picasa.

you know do stupid stuff like shitty blurring...desaturation JUST on the outside..

you know...the shit we see on facebook everyday.

OOWWWHHHHHHH

lol

take that. lol

back to my point.

after picasa came photoshop.

gathered my guts to buy a second hand DSLR from my senior

and it has been photoshop ever since really.

i've learnt a lot over a time span of 3 years.

my camera has served me well.

it's like 6 years old or something.

my camera is literally older than my nephew.

THERE. now you see how old it is.

lol

anyways

I've then gone on to post a lot of shitty pics on facebook and flickr etc etc

and friends have been really supportive through it all really.

they post really nice comments all the time.

and it makes me happy. really.

my heart literally jumps a beat when i see red on the top left corner of my facebook screen haha.

so after all that i'm learning something new again.

things are gonna look shitty for a while so bear with me lol.

there are gonna be flaws and what not.

just like what you are gonna see below.

the lighting isn't perfect...the reflections too...bla bla bla

i can go on and on.

what i've learnt so far though..

is for 3d images.

you set 2d pics as a background.

and sort of create this fake "world" in front of it

understand??

that means all the words you see are actually in front of the picture.

but by using lighting and creating an imaginative plate underneath the wordings, you convince the viewer that you have placed the 3d words on to the picture itself.

by imitating textures and lighting, shadows etc etc.

get it???

no??

it's okay.

i'll explain it again when i get better at this.

soooooo

i guess that's it.

take care people.

2011-02-05T12:10:00.002+09:00

i'm at a point in life where i look back at everything and realize how clueless about everything and ignorant i was.

and i still am.

so if you see me wandering around floating in my bubble of ignorance slap me down to earth please.

lol.

if you're laughing at this i'll take that as a compliment man.

happy chinese new year everyone.

2011-01-08T07:04:00.002+09:00

my next life i wanna be a CCTV.

that way all i would do is look at people's lives and think about them.

there would be no need to worry about myself.

no i change that.

a wanna be a CCTV's battery.

yes.

...

i'm giving out my dreams for free.

CALL ME.

no.wait.

don't.

2011-01-04T14:18:00.003+09:00

wazzzzuuupppppp.

happy new year everyone.

if you're still reading this...get a life.

it's 2011 already.

blogging's in the past.

lol

new year was like...past years in short.

snowboard with juniors.and meeting up with old friends in tokyo.

snowboarding with juniors is always awesome man.

i don't care.

people say there's the generation gap and all.

man i don't really care.

i embrace the generation gap ahaha.

lets me feel old.

juniors really remind me of what i was like a few years ago.

messed around with seniors too.

real down to earth people.

they're the keep-it-real type of people man.

real friendly real kind.

man i can type all i want but you guys wouldn't understand.

unless if you know them.

i'm thankful for everyone around me really.

gosh.

...

moving on.

this year's gonna be an emotional one.

.....

you know what i've always wanted to do???

interview my parents.separately.

about their love life.

about being a parent.

about their dreams.

on what is it like being married.

on how do they commit so much to a family.

...

on a side note.

remember what i said about getting a new camera??

i guess it's okay man.

...

till then.

happy new year everyone.

pics of seniors and friends below are taken at odaiba, tokyo.

the song is by 98 degrees. don't laugh. lol

i MIGHT have added some sunset in these next pics...but hey.

if i think it looks better that way, i do it. lol

everyone melt. now.

2010-11-08T23:33:00.002+09:00

life's good, man. life's good.

feeling thankful everyday.

nobody's forcing that thought man. nobody's preaching anything.

just loads of happy thoughts lately.

2010-11-01T12:27:00.003+09:00

on a different note...i'm pushing back the plan to get a new camera because of..financial restrictions.blah

2010-10-24T20:28:00.002+09:00

i think the best way to live our lives is to never ever be narcissistic.

i think everything bad, everything people hate...everything comes down to one common value, narcissism.

getting too caught up in yourself.

...

just a random thought.

been busy lately.

life's good.

an idle mind's a devil's playground.

just saying.

2010-10-19T21:06:00.002+09:00

...

2010-10-10T20:56:00.008+09:00

if i can be in charge of something real important for just one day....

i'll ban facebook and make blogs mandatory for high school kids.

you are free to write about anything really.

talk about problems in life...post pics...smart quotations about life...thoughts...feelings towards a crush...anything...

the catch is you'll have to read a blog of someone who's at least 5 years older than you on a really frequent basis.

and once a month you have to sum up all useful things you have done within that particular month...exams, co-curricular activites, drawings, etc.

and this blog will be observed by a teacher who's using an unknowned proxy.

you cannot update the blog more than 8 times a month.

syok-sendiri pics are automatic demerits.

i think this system will totally ERASE the emo-high-school-kid race because every kid will have a healthy outlet for their causeless depression.

kids won't watch TV that much anymore.

you can pick out kids who have talent for writing, photography, art at a young age.

we will know if there's something wrong with the kids.

nerds won't get shit on anymore because they will write very intellectual stuff.

and by blogging on a frequent basis i can guarantee that students will never have a problem writing essays anymore.it'll be like second nature.

emo kids are gonna be quoting emo poems they've learnt during literature class.

you don't have even to force them to memorize them.

"Shakespeare again today???? BRING IT ONNNN"

and these blogs will be graded with sincere thoughts written on a card along with a sincere present from the unknown teacher who's in charge of the blogs at the end of every year

...

2010-10-07T16:24:00.004+09:00

i have my own perception of heaven.

heaven is a bar really.

and god is the bartender.

and when we all get to heaven we'll hang our coats at the door and our friends and family who have been there before us will be chatting and turn to look at us.

and say "hey look who's here!" while lifting their hands up to signal welcome.

and we'll have a round of drinks and chat about stuff we did when we were alive.

all that while we watch this giant screen showing sunsets all over the world.

...

i mean i can relate to this heaven more.

2010-10-03T00:40:00.002+09:00

you.have.to.press.play.

2010-09-29T12:15:00.002+09:00

let's talk cameras.

i love my current camera.

but it's old man.

like reallllyyy old.

it's a d70s

we're talking like 5 years old here.

it was released in 2005.

it doesn't even recognize faces.

it doesn't have a huge screen

the resolutions are small.

it doesn't have in-camera editing.

it gets grainy at high ISO's

i can go on and on.

...

truth is i get REALLY jealous when i see people holding new cameras.

it's like i envy them.

i turn green.

that's the reason why i started photoshopping.

it's the only way i can catch up with all the rest.

...

i've been saving up for a new cam for quite a while.

it's gonna happen.

anytime now.

i might even boldly say this year.

so yeah.

don't be surprised.

lol

no more black faces.

no more noisy night pics.

no more 3,4 takes to get ONE picture

every portrait and food pics are gonna look good.

videos...

damn.

i can't wait man.

i just can't wait.

ps: i'll probably scribble a thing or two about taiwan later in the day.

2010-09-28T09:21:00.001+09:00

daaaammmmnnnnnnnn....

i feel chinese.

haha.

2010-09-15T17:22:00.002+09:00

urm. right now...i'm....being a bitch.

because i..am..going back tomorrow.

gosh.

2010-09-14T00:20:00.003+09:00

sooooo....mum made mooncakes!!!!

thought i'd update the MMM album on facebook so i took a little pics.

the rough steps to making a mooncake are...

get the pastry ready..

buy some lotus paste or red bean paste

get little nuts...forgot what nuts those are

bake the nuts.

mix it into the lotus/red bean paste.

wrap pastry around lotus paste.

push the whole thing into this case made specially for forming mooncakes.

knock it out.

aaaaaannddd bake it.

for more info..go add my mum on facebook!!!!

hahaha

but yeah.

easier said than done.

it always is lol

enough of yapping!

pictures!

mum's rolling the lotus paste i think

the round things at the bottom are the pastry, above it is the lotus paste.

and mum is pushing the pastry and lotus paste into the "case"

and knock it out....

mooncakes before baking

after baked

a closer look

alrite alrite that's all.

i'll be back with pics from my school.

take care everyone!

2010-09-12T10:45:00.004+09:00

had a quick basketball session with the guys...

and the pics are below...

but before that, i'm going back to japan this 16th man

oh god

i'm not gonna say that i don't wanna go back..

but yeah.

thanks to my friends for making time for me i guess..

a lot of thoughts going through my mind right now so i can't really put it all into words man.

T_T

all the basketball sessions..the futsal...the hill-climbing..the makan-minum sessions..the gossiping..the raya open-houses.

oh god.

this was one hell of a summer break...

alrite enough of me yapping.

pics.

guna

salleh

guna getting ready to shoot free throws

salleh taking a break

i was running around with my camera and kok meng passed the ball to me lol.

"WOI CAMERAMAN!!!!KACAU AH YOU!!!"

:'( lol

kok leong passing the ball

boo was complaining that guna stepped out haha

we were all challenging guna to guard boo and he graciously took up the challenge haha

i love this pic. somehow there's this brotherly love we feel for each other.

the dude is all sweating and we would still not care. we'd hug each other all day! lol

i think growing up in SGI kinda instilled all that into us.

but then again i guess everyone feels this connection with their high school friends.

kok leong was begging me not to take his pic.but i went straight up in his face instead so he looked sideways.

oh wait on a second thought i think he actually posed.

damn. lol

guna touching the rim.

trying hard to emulate an advert pic.

pffffftttt lol

last pic for the day.

sooooo...how was it?

good i hope.

but then again i hope all pics are good. lol

that's all for now man.

everyone take care!

2010-08-25T23:23:00.002+09:00

i forgot....so basically i maxed out the pic sizes..

but all the additional stuff like updates and blog visitor counts are at the bottom now...because they simply wouldn't fit LOL

and i'll post a little song with each pic post...

just..for the fun of it....

i mean it's not auto-play so no worries.

have fun then!!!!

2010-08-24T01:52:00.013+09:00

trying out something new. bear with me

2010-08-21T15:27:00.012+09:00

ps: i switched the photos to flickr ones so i could maximize the size of the photos.now they're HUGE :D

so we went to penang....

was soooo random.

took like what..2 facebook messages and a few chat lines on msn.

next thing you know i was on google maps trying to predict where tourists would go around penang and how to drive there lol.

oh man.

penang was FUN.

first time driving around penang actually.

was kinda afraid at first but i guess 2 hours of google maps+mum's lecture helped haha

wasn't too much of traffic since it was a weekday and that helped too i guess..

i ought to drive around more i guess.

i am SHIT TIRED though.

lol

funny cause i wasn't tired AT ALL during the trip.

drove and drove and drove and fooled around at the beach and drove.

talked about friends WITH friends till late at night.

and woke up real early the next day.

woke up other people (i don't know the exact number man but it seems like there were a few of them. my friends like me too much to let me wake up alone ahahahahaha) too but that's another story lol.

then drove again the next day.

and drove back to taiping.

the car was awfully quiet though on the way back.

almost scary haha.

so yeah.

short but the trip was full of fun.

just like me.

i'm short and full of fun too

ahaha ahaha ahaha

kay whatever.

bye.

for the 3 pics below...the extremely white areas on the photos are where we usually put chinese writings with really nice fonts...but unfortunately i can't do that.ahhaha

tell me if anyone has ideas man. i'll edit straightaway.

how were they!???

neways i have 2 panorama pics

feel free to download!

that goes for all the pics above actually lol.

take care!!!

2010-08-17T21:28:00.004+09:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

jello everyone.

i mean hello everyone.

thought i'd share this important moment with everyone..

i..made..something 3d!!!

evil laugh!!!

ahaha ahaha ahahah!!!!!

kay.

that's all actually.

nothing much.

REALLY hard to use though.

the interfaces are so different from that of photoshop...

so..

i don't know man..

give me a whole year maybe??

hehe

slow-learner.wtf.

here are the pics!!!!

excited sial.

started with a cube

then we shape it into a pillow

the rendering process's different too

the pillows up-close

from another angle to test the DOF of the camera

YAYAYAYA there's a camera IN the software weh OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!

where you can set the zoom....the distance...even the freaking DOF weh

happy laugh

ahaha ahaha ahaha ahaha!!!!

okay man.

that's all really.

till then...enjoy your holidays...your honeymoons...your puasa..your rojak dan lain lain yang sewaktu dengannya.

i sound hyper in this post don't i.

yeah.

don't bother man.

things like that happen when I AM AT TAIPING WHERE IT RAINS EVERYDAY!!!!!

buhbye everyone!

2010-07-18T17:16:00.002+09:00

i'm about to get myself a bowtie for my birthday.

someone please stop me.

lol

2010-07-11T18:33:00.003+09:00

guess what!!??

raining sunday evening.....

♥

it's like saturday morning never left....

love it.

(sorry if that last sentence made you puke.i'm not usually like that.the rain does stuff to me.)

..................

anywaysssss

so i have this teacher who teaches biology

sorta...

he teaches a subject about the human body...

how engineering has contributed to medicine...

how we created the MRI machine...the stethoscope...the camera thing that goes into your intestines....and all sorts of everything else.

yeah.

so he was talking about all the joints in our body the other day...

when he suddenly asked how many of us have actually experienced losing a family member.

so we raised our hands...

and he looked at us.

then he looked down.

"My father's dead.In fact he died years ago."

"but it's funny because i don't feel like i've lost him.Even up to now."

i thought "Oh that's something we hear a lot....he's probably gonna talk about all his memories with his dad and how he still remembers them...."

and that's when i got the shock of my life.

He said, "You guys wanna know why?"

"It's because my family and i decided not to have a funeral for him."

i mean they did cremate him and do everything but it wasn't a ceremony.

"That's why we have never felt like he has left us.I still feel sometimes like he is going to ring the doorbell and show up anytime."

"It's like he's gone to somewhere far, far away and will come back just anytime and be together with us again."

I will not lie.

I swear my heart literally stopped pumping and my blood went cold that very instant.

HOW SCARY IS THAT?

THEN i realised the importance of funerals.

i've been through three of them.

i've lost my grandpa, grandma and an aunt.

and funerals are always sad and moody.

there'll be people crying..burning heaven notes...prayers for the dead...people visiting...

black and white clothes...

my point is funerals are never good.

but it is very important.

because i think it helps us accept the fact that that very someone has left us to be with God and it's time to move on with our lives.

i mean it's okay to cry and all...

i mean you SHOULD cry.

nobody should handle the loss of a family member alone.

that's where other family members and friends come in.

a loss of one family member should bring the rest together.

and not having a funeral is like running away from it all.

which in my opinion is never good.

i don't know.

maybe my teacher had his own reasons for doing that.

which i would totally respect.

........................

moving on!

i made another pic...

it's like a continuation of the previous pic.

making the costume was hell but once you get the essence of it it's okay really.

next up would be a whole pic i guess..

but the face part would be a total nightmare i think....

i'll probably need some time with that lol.

well.

till then.

go green.

it's the new black.

lol

2010-07-10T00:23:00.003+09:00

no experiments today.

finally got a break after a long stretch of experiments.

friday night.

and i'm photoshopping AND watching "How i met your mother".

ON A RAINING FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!

puny things that don't mean anything make me happy.

life's good.

2010-07-07T17:49:00.004+09:00

i'm ashamed of myself.

but still...

thought i'd put this up..

still kinda blunt after a very long hiatus.

what?

i was busy.

really.

i'm not lying.

cross my heart and hope to die.

oh by the way.

its tanabata over here in japan.

like..really.

read the link above.

it's really interesting.

doesn't sound real in any way but that's the thing with legends and festivals like this.

i think we've evolved into a generation that is able enough to differ what is real from what is not.

even the young kids can.

so all these stories about deities and gods and cute angels....

they are going to be just stories if you ask me.

nobody's gonna value them as much anymore in like 30-40 years.i think.

same thing's gonna happen with the celebration itself.

we celebrate for the sake of celebrating.

like.there's gonna be no meaning behind the celebration.

malaysia's gonna be like japan.

where every celebration is solely for the purpose of dating.haha

oh wait.you people don't read serious stuff...

i forgot.

then read the post below.

oh by the way.

it's tanabata over here in japan.

and there is no bamboo shoot in sight.

what the hell.

where am i supposed to hang this pink piece of paper then?

not that i'm desperate.

no really.

i'm really not.

sounds much better rite??

yeeeeaaaaahhhh.

because i'm shallow like that.

haha

2010-06-30T16:54:00.003+09:00

i have a dirty confession to make.

i have my "syok sendiri" moments.

they come in doses...like once every 2 days or so.

i hope that's normal lol.

i think there's a really really thin line separating feeling good about yourself and "syok sendiri".

i just don't know where that line is. lol

which reminds me.

the day i take loads of camwhore pics.

like from a slightly higher angle than my head and slightly off-center just to make my eyes look big...

like the kind of picture where you can see the hand because the person is just trying a little bit too hard to take a picture of him/herself.

because he/she couldn't afford a tripod-ish kind of pictures...

and upload it to facebook...

and actually click the like button on my own camwhore pics...

kill me.

lol.

it's for the good of mankind.

because..it's just not gonna work.

only good-looking people can afford to do that.lol

2010-06-27T16:53:00.003+09:00

coffee on a raining sunday evening!!!!

i win!!!!!!!

lol

.....

so the busiest week of my life has just ended.

i think.

exams and draft drawings and experiments.

i slept an average of 3 hours i think for the whole week.

goodness.

when is this semester gonna end?

i wanna go home T_T

...........

anyways.

2 juniors who sat for the entrance exam got dropped.

and they were suisen students.

i do not know what the real reason is for their failing.

but i do know that the examiner this year doesn't like malaysians too much.

seniors say that ONE malaysian behaved like a real jerk a few years ago..

and the rest was history.

the perfect example of "one bad apple spoils the bunch" if you ask me.

i don't think it's fair that all these later generations should suffer because of that ONE guy.

all this is IF the professor really did drop the two guys because they were malaysians.

that's just one of the many problems of studying at a different country i think.

i hated my jyuken.

it was a breeze for other people.

was the exact opposite in my case.

and i hope these two guys pull through.

.........

on a different note.

i need to go to a beach.

it's summer.

and i've been working out!!!

what for???

to go to the beach!!!!

someone bring me to a beach!!!

lol.

bye!

2010-06-17T19:55:00.003+09:00

so today my teacher came into class and talked about his life.

what has he done his entire life.

very humble guy.

soft-spoken.

rarely makes eye contact when speaking to you.

he was playful throughout high school and university..

got into an accident and lost 2 fingers.

played badminton and baseball after that..

and injured his shoulders.

went on to write a textbook about a subject he loves.

now at the age of 64 he is planting rice at a paddy field he shares with his neighbours

and vegetables at his own backyard.

AND teaching at a university.

AND having fun calculating movements of interfering waves!!!

he could have given up after the accidents he had.

but he chose to push on and look at life differently.

and life has never been better he says.

he says don't ever forget to have fun.

work hard.

but only for the happiness and fulfillment you get at the end of it all.

he lost two fingers.

but understood life.

"it's a fair trade from every angle you look at it."

very inspirational person.

makes you feel so little when you listen to him speak.

makes you look back at your life and think

"what have i done??"

2010-06-14T17:33:00.002+09:00

days are so busy now man.

so dull.

exams. and experiments.and reports.and homework.and draft drawings.

goodness.

i wanna paint again.

and do stupid things on photoshop.

like i miss learning new stuff.

there always something new to learn when it comes to stuff like this.

it's an infinite cycle.

no textbook and stuff.

i'm free to learn and explore.

and i feel happy doing it.

what has it been like? a month?

i miss doing all that.

T_T

2010-06-07T20:40:00.002+09:00

do you know what the "like" button on facebook is really for?

you don't click when you actually like something..

that's when you comment.

you click the "like" button because you look forward to the red-coloured notifications WITHOUT getting too much involved in the real conversation...

and you get happy when you see the red top left corner of your screen...

and i know....

because i click that "like" button a lot.hehe

it's how i lie to myself.

lolol.

2010-06-05T16:50:00.003+09:00

when people type or write in chinese...

i see many lines...and dots...interfered.

lol

kinda like ancient languages scribbled on cave walls.

the lines are supposed to mean something.

lolol.

hehe

2010-06-03T10:02:00.001+09:00

sometimes i refresh my facebook home page..

just in case...

yeah.

i'm desperate like that.

hah.

2010-06-02T06:59:00.003+09:00

i think God made human beings with the need to breed.

and with the need to breed came the need to look good.

because you need to attract the other sex.

so when one doesn't need to breed,

one doesn't need to look good.

hah.

see how i just did that.

heh.

2010-05-31T21:37:00.001+09:00

i think i jump to conclusions way too quick in real life.

that's not too good is it hah.

2010-05-30T16:51:00.006+09:00

harr.

lately time flies by man.

holy cows

............

on a different note...

this song.

i've been listening to it all these years...

and only now i know the story behind it. -.-"

a definite must watch

welled up my eyes when i first watched it.

beautiful T__T

now turn on your radios and scream in horror.

heh.

..........

oh and this bugger is the cutest!

oh my gawwwd!!!! ♥

like...it stands on its head!!!!

aaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

lol.

that's all.

take care.

and go watch the matchbox 20 video again.

haha

weeds again

2010-05-23T16:59:00.006+09:00

so i didn't paint this week....

was too tired.

heh

seriously...experiments and had like what...one and a half hours'(?) sleep on wednesday night...

was going through a list of calculations for some designing subject...

when i found out about a small miscalculation...

and that small dude eventually lead to an almost sleepless night.

haih.

it's okay i guess because the teacher said there were no problems

and the next day there was experiments..tiring tiring days.

but i'm not complaining.

heh.

so i slept and i slept.

i wanted to draw.

but i had nothing going on.wasn't thinking about anything the whole week.

because i was busy maybe?haha.

blank.

so i went out with a blank mind and a camera and an ipod ♥

and took picture of weeds.

hehe.

weeds....are always there for you man.

they never complain from the lack of attention we give them.

haha.

oh btw.

i'm changing the background to black.

on a different note...

i have friends who bring me down to earth.

great friends.

...............

i need a new computer..the one i have now crashes all the time!!

and i want a new camera with video functions and crystal clear high end ISOs T___T

but the total of both would cost a bomb T__T

wtf.

well i can dream of having both.

until i am ready.

dreams are free of charge wat. haha

..............

that's all i guess..

tomorrow is the start of another week -__-"

take care everyone.

have a productive week ahead!

™

2010-05-16T11:57:00.004+09:00

urgh...it's sunday already T_T

neways.

good morning!!

i am

busy busy busy busy busy busy

nothing in particular this week actually..

a normal week...loaded with assignments...

there was the whole Thomas Cup thing..

but i wasn't really into it man..

everyone was hyped up about it..

watching online and stuff...

i had to do schoolwork muahahahahaha

ohhhh man. haha

friends were posting scores and streaming sites on facebook and all...

and i'd be calculating the diameter and length and stuff and drawing drafts...

and thinking "man, you guys are dedicated fans..."

don't get me wrong.

i like sports.

injured my knee during judo back in toyama and all.

got through that and

i still play basketball...and futsal...and workout in the mornings 4-5 times a week and all...

but i would never be a good fan.

for example i don't get people who wake up at wee hours in the morning JUST to watch a game of football..

i totally understand going to a stadium and shout and jump and support by being there...

BUT staying up to cheer THROUGH a tv???

IT'S JUST A GAME OF FOOTBALL!!!

same goes for every other sports...

why should we lose precious sleep over it.

i don't get you people muahahahaha

oh and i helped Guna with some photoshop thing...lost some sleep over that but it's okay.

because i love that guy.

high school wouldn't have been the same without that guy.haha

and we still hang out and play ball and stuff when i get back home.

i have to fetch him around though.

his dad left him and his mum when he was still small..

his uncle was his father figure ever since.

still he has great character...respects his elders...down to earth.

man i have utmost respect for this guy.

he's probably not reading this though.

hehe.

made a collage of pics of friends he was gonna part with...

nothing much though.he said they cried when they saw it haha.

they were probably too sentimental lol.

....

speaking about sentimental....

WHERE THE HELL IS MY EMO?

i haven't been emo for what...2 months????

that's a personal record!!!

i need my emo.

i'm not inspired to do stuff when i'm not emo man.

crap.

....

here we go

that's all for this week i guess....

take care you...happy people.

i'll be watching your every move...on facebook lol.

♪

2010-05-09T13:50:00.006+09:00

heyyyyyy

first of all before i get to anything..

happy mothers' day mum!!!!!!!!

love you lots.

so urm we had this series of holidays that happen to fall on 3 continuous days here in Japan..and Japanese people call it the golden week...

why they call it golden week?

because it's when the "many leisure-based industries experience spikes in their revenues".

according to wikipedia anyway haha.

went to tokyo and all

played basketball with the gang.

owwhhhhhhh good man good.

priceless!!!!

we should do this more often.

and went to a jungle without phone lines far secluded from technology where men cooked food with fire from firewood and danced around the fire while shouting out aloud at night.™

haha. laugh man laugh.

ya. that was golden week.

malaysians studying in japan do that man.

muahahahaha

it's our spiritual way of refreshing our souls. haha

ahhhhh. had so much fun

with the sempais....and kouhais..

talked about stuff...getting to know each other.

catching up with close friends...

oh gawd.

being around these guys makes things fun.

i don't know why.

it's been only a few days but

i miss everyone T__T

holy shit it's been 5 years.

like how much more do we have left?

only two more years to go.

before everyone parts.

work OR study.

everyone's gonna part.

but that's where having a facebook account comes in handy i guess.

hah.

ya i think like years down the road everyone's still gonna be internet friends.

which is better than nothing man.

we're still going to be able to know about what's happening in each other's lives.

internet friends. lol

....

on a different note...

mum and dad.

i now have no hair.

i mean there's like short hair.

i know it's my hair and i can do anything i want with it..

but i thought i'd let you guys know haha.

....

here we go

was trying to draw some bruised-up-and-was-crying guy but...

i don't know man.

i don't know.

haha

and i guess that's all.....

tomorrow's the start of another busy week....

which means i have to start warming up today lol.

boo hoo.

take care you internet people.

2010-05-05T08:46:00.002+09:00

oh my god.

golden week.ROCKED.MY.SOCKS.OFF!!!

i'll probably scribble a thing or two about it this weekend.

slip in a painting maybe??

hehe.

because there'll be no experiments this week...

oh my god!!

i think i'm going to paint this weekend!!

oh my god oh my god!! lol

gotta do reports for now.

had been at it since last night actually haha.

ahhhhhhh the wonders of university life.

you're so busy and yet you're not pissed off about it and posting about it all over facebook because you're used to it already.

haha.

2010-04-21T16:49:00.001+09:00

busy arhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

updates

2010-04-18T09:57:00.004+09:00

school has officially started...

school's fun man

university life's completely good so far.

i mean maybe it's too early to say something like this.

but yeah.

i'll say what i want whenever i want haha

THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE!!!!

oh my god.

it's a whole different world out there!

fat thin tall short pretty cute fierce gangster yankee nerd you name it!!!

they're all over the place!!! haha

...

classes are...classes man.

i have come to a point in life that i can no longer comment on classes.

i think classes are what they are and will always be.

no matter where i go.

there are going to be fun teachers.lazy teachers.dedicated teachers.strict teachers etc.

there are going to be difficult classes.easy classes.boring classes etc.

So what is the point of talking about classes man?

i don't get it.

haha

and daily life's great too.

great housemate.

great friends.

everyone's gelling up together well.

and i'm not making stuff up man.

i swear!

....

everyone's grown up and all.

sometimes i talk to mior about everything that has happened.

and about stuff we went through back in PPKTJ.

stuff that happened when we were at kousen.

past relationships.friendships.

heart to heart talk haha.

makes me think we've all come a long way.

but then again maybe it's just me.

i don't know.

you tell me.

...

i've been painting again.

hah.

here we go

oh and i have come to the conclusion that i do things like paint and photoshop because i am easily distracted. haha

i day dream a lot.

i day dream when i shower...

i day dream when i'm cycling to the supermarket...

i day dream when i'm munching bread....

i day dream all the time actually haha.

and this is how i put all those day dreams to use.

so people know what's going on in my head all the time.haha

these things might not look good man but it's all self-satisfaction really so i guess it's all good.

....

sis sent me a link to this video.

laughed my butt off haha.

till then..

take care you no-lifers!!!!! haha

a feel good post

2010-03-31T08:40:00.006+09:00

i'm in akita right now.
shifted in and all.
bought cheap furniture.
staying with mior.

010-0851

秋田県秋田市手形字西谷地132
ウィロードハイツB棟103室

010-0851
Akita-ken
Akita-shi, Tegata, Azanishiyachi 132
We-road heights B block 103

that's it in English.i think so haha.
i don't wanna sound cheesy and all but yeah.
everything's off to a great start.
great guys.great chemistry.
comfortable house.
hah.
hopefully everything goes well then i guess.
i'm excited i'm excited!
...

so i was buying cheap furniture (see i didn't type furnitures because my English is still grammatically correct muahahahahahahaha) for my house...
was looking for book racks....when i had a flashback
of mum getting me book racks when i was in form 5.
haha
memories man.memories.

i still remember following my dad on the old blue yamaha motorcycle to primary school.
man i loved those days.
i still remember that man.
the dog from the house uphill.
that guy named eric whose dad had a huge bike.
how papa used to comb my hair with his green comb.
ah.
what i don't remember is how i used to look back in those days.
specs...hair parted on the left side...
haha must have been such a nerd.

...

we all grow up i guess.
i'm gonna be 22 this year.
haih.
maybe when i have a son i'll fetch him to school and comb his hair with my comb. haha
..

on a different note.
i was on a water colour streak before this.
because..i don't know.
i have moments that i can't think of things to do on photoshop.
it takes a lot of thinking okay haha.

think of something...
plan how to do it...
figure out what tools to use..
think of what picture to use...
where to get those pics...
how to blend them together...
actually sit down and do it...
touch up...
look at final pic...
improve on it...
touch up again...
look at it again...
improve again...
finalize again.
then we get ONE picture okay.

there you go haha

anyways.

you know those yakuza tattoo thingies??
haha
i don't know man.
i'm not supposed to say anything about these pics.
people are supposed to think the picture and tell me about it.
interpret it.
that's why i look forward to facebook's photo comments so much everytime i upload something.
feedback.
either that.
or i'm such a loner in real life that i look forward to internet photo comments as a way of looking for friends muahahaha.

why do i sound so positive you ask???
Because i am listening to this and munching on a red bean bun and drinking hot coffee in my new room with sun rays smiling on the blanket covering my winter-cold feet.

try to top that!!!

2010-03-24T09:37:00.002+09:00

leaving this place in 24 hours' time man.
haih.
all the memories.
i'll miss the guys here.
great guys.
i wish them all the best for the future.
Go and do great things man.
and i thank them for everything we've had together.
it was a great 3 years.
i'll tell my grandchildren one day about you guys maybe.

..

yesterday i couldn't wait to shift.
now i don't wanna.
..
posting my stuff at 4pm.
no internet until i settle down in akita then.

bye~

2010-03-23T17:58:00.002+09:00

i'm getting good at throwing things away man.
when i was small i'd keep every single thing.
i cried when mum attempted throw away my stinky blanket.
now i'd set my stuff on fire if i could.
hah.

old clothes

2010-03-22T16:08:00.003+09:00

i'm thinking of donating my old clothes.
someone tell me how please..
what do you guys do usually?

tiger

2010-03-20T18:26:00.005+09:00

so yeah i told you guys these things are going to be short.

oh my graduation was just over.
everyone was handsome and pretty man.
maybe it's just my eyes.
i swear.
japanese people look good in kimono.
stunning.
i've come to realize that people look pretty when i'm about to leave somewhere.
no matter what country i'm in.
yeah.

on a different note.
3 years....
FINALLY i have a diploma.
2 more years for a degree.
looong way to go.

i think PPKTJ is a great program.
i'm proud to be part of this whole thing.
people complain about the years....the university entrance stuff..
i think that actually makes PPKTJ what it is.

okay.
i'm ending this on a light note.
1.my language skills are deteriorating.
i'll never be able to converse in the Japanese language like a Japanese can.
my english is shit.
my bahasa malaysia is shit.
my chinese is like...fossils weh.
one of these days i'm going to....a Form 5 tuition class.refresher course man.
yeah.

2.i was reading Randy's post on dating spots around tokyo...
then it struck me.
i think i've forgotten how it's like to date.haha.
if my memory serves me well, it's supposed to be fun. lol

i guess that's all....bye.

2010-03-19T14:02:00.001+09:00

man i'm bad at saying goodbyes.

giraffe

2010-03-09T22:32:00.007+09:00

hello everyone.
it's been a while.
i've been busy man.
busy living life.
at least i'd like to think so.
a lot has happened haha
i feel way tooooooo lazy to blog all about it.
really.
snowboard...new year...chinese new year...thesis..presentation..
hah.
i'm sure you guys know i update regularly on facebook though.
which leads to my letting this blog die.
i mean i literally let this blog die.

hopefully it's dead enough now haha

because i needed this empty space where i can say whatever i want to.
where nobody cares what i write.
because there is no need to.
i love to think.
not as in come up with a new invention type of thinking.
that's what smart people think about lol.
i think about...stuff that you don't think about.
haha
i overthink.
that's it.i love it in fact.
i love overthinking.haha
deal with it.hahaha
that's why some of my posts are in japanese.
sorry to my friends back in malaysia and my family members though
haha
mum, dad, sis and anyone else reading this blog.
sometimes i want to be alone.and say whatever i want to say.
meaningless things.
literally meaningless things.
hah.
so yeah.
i mean i love you sis.
But sometimes i have my moments man haha
don't care man.i'm emo.
yeah.
i'm emo. part-time emo. muaahahahahahaha

oh yeah i actually thought of privatising this blog.but that's just plain evil man lol.

moving on.
i think i'll like just post up all the pics i've been working on for this past few months...
here we go.

and here comes the problem.
i am in a slump.
a creative block.
i can't think anymore.
i mean there is only that much i can teach myself on photoshop.
there is only this much pics i can do to self portraits taken in front of my computer screen.
haha.
what do i do man??
someone enlighten me.
it's not like my life depended on it.....
it's a hobby after all.
something to work the right side of my brain.
but yeah.
one of these days i'm gonna start doing video.
and 3d stuff.
and pawn everyone.
and make myself a cartoon girlfriend.

haha
okay that was a joke.
or was it?
haha

goodbye.
we'll see how things turn out man.regarding the whole photoshop thing.
heh.
take care then!

2010-02-22T00:42:00.004+09:00

押し殺してきた
自分は
変わらないから
思い出す。

2009-12-13T17:14:00.005+09:00

goooooooooooood evening everyone.
it's been quite a while!
haha
i don't know why man.
i just don't feel like talking nowadays
after the whole university entrance thing....
i don't feel like talking so much anymore.
don't feel like blogging so much anymore.
i mean half of the things i say are crap anyway haha

i don't know.
might be the trauma of it all.
haha
i'd rather listen nowadays.
watch.
observe.
learn a thing or two while keeping quiet.
watch what people around me are doing.
listen to what they are saying.
listen to what people are saying.
take a second to ponder about why is it that people do what they do.
some people think about their actions first.
some don't.
i don't think there is a right way to do the things we do.
whether if you're the repulsive type of the calm type.
us doing the things we do is what makes this world go round.
it makes everything that little much more interesting.

which reminds me.
i think attitude is a very important factor for me.
in what i am doing.as a student.
i'm not going to say studying in japan has been all pretty...
it's not.
it's been quite the opposite in fact.
a whole different country.
a whole different language.
people around you affect how you think so this post is quite relative i think..
i'm surrounded by great people,don't get me wrong
but sometimes they say things that are a little harsh on you.
it's totally not the case if you ask them.
japanese people only make fun of people whom they think can handle it.
they only poke fun at you if they think you are one of them.
so basically..the more they joke with/about you, the more they feel safe with you.(i think)
someone who doesn't know this will feel taunted,angry,etc etc
i know.
because i've been through A LOT of that.
it almost feels like discrimination sometimes.
i still get that nowadays.
can't help it.
i AM a foreigner.
but everytime i feel that.
i have to calm down.bring myself down to earth again.think calmly.

my classmates are only 1 year younger than me.
but they have been in japan their whole life.
they don't know how people from other countries think man.
all those foreigners on television are plain "characters" anyway.
don't think i'm being bullied man.
don't get me wrong.
these guys are great.
i just thought i'd write this down because i have only 3 months or so left before i leave this guys for good.
ah.
i feel like a nomad.
no one stays for good man.
high school friends.ppktj friends.kousen friends.
but then again
i guess it's because they leave at some point that i treasure them...
imagine living with they same bunch of guys till you're 60 or something.
how boring a life would that be weh.
haha

alright then.
have a test coming up tomorrow.
gotta say goodbye.
and you know what that means???!!!!
picturesssss!!!!!

oh and i made red bean soup....
i don't know man.
doesn't taste right without pandan...
but beggars can't be choosers.
heh.
dumped a piece of mochi inside though.

and a final one to end this the right way.

take care everyone!

kousen sai

2009-11-09T23:56:00.004+09:00

so i don't feel like sleeping yet tonight..
haha
bear with me
my kousen had it's kousen sai today
they call it canteen day back in malaysia
it was great!!!!!!!!
there is something about these festivities that i love so much...
all these students you normally see walking around the school with literally no life in them..
studying..
those who are not studying are playing games..
or dating...
or playing those card games..
all those lifeless people actually turn 180 degrees at these school festivities!
hustling to get work done!!
i like people getting busy...
the look on them
i like getting busy myself
haha

kousen sai...
ahhhh
great memories...great memories!!!!
i've never seen all these foreign students as united as this before!
goodness.
everyone working as one unit.
beautiful man.
beautiful.
of course there were cute japanese girls going "おいしいいいいい" over roti jala and curry and all
but let's not go there
haha
i'm not in the mood haha
i'm sure you guys have that too in your colleges.
so yeah
blah

i have this teacher who's in charge of us foreign students..
his name is 増山先生 in fact.
great great teacher.
really sacrificed a lot of time and effort for us.
he did the posters and all
all we had to do was cook and serve.
really touched by the effort he put into all this.
a great man, great teacher, great father figure.
oh and he brought his son!!!
his name is 載笑(noe)
he named his son that because he said he wanted his son to always be smiling happily no matter what comes in life.
i think that's a realllllyyyy beautiful name.
haih
what a great kousensai.
i swear to god it's not about the cute pretty girls that came to the stall telling us how nice the food is in their cute voices and all.
i swear!!
haha
it might have helped a bit though.
haha
it was the rush of emotions for me personally...
it's my last one already.
i'm going to university with mior and the guys and all..
more fun things might be waiting there.
but this one is special.
the foreign students have bonded stronger then ever now.
we were there helping each other when we needed it.
beautiful...beautiful.
hah..
i wonder if i'm gonna totally forget about this a few years down the road..
that's probably what this post is for anyway.
haha
go figure.

i'm running out of emotional things to say already!!!
haha

as usual pictures.
the first one is an experiment....
making 2d pics of buildings look 3d using 2d layers.
i don't know man.
you tell me
haha
the second one..is nothing literally
haha
don't even bother to care haha
it'll waste like 5,6 seconds of your life
haha

signing off now!
take care everyone.
and thanks for the comments on the last post!!!

oh and i almost forgot.
i was watching tv
and there was this clip..
i just have to show you guys

great great soulful performance.
that's really it.
bye!!

bodoh

2009-10-25T18:18:00.005+09:00

alright.
so where do i start.
as you can see it's been a really long while.
i don't know what to say man.
ah.
it started all the way back in may.
after failing dentsuu.
hah..
all the way till october 13th.
pretty long huh.

ah.
well i passed akita and muroran anyways.
thank God.

i've been thinking a lot these past few months.
about God.
about friends.
about family.
about studying.

like who came up with this whole "fate" thing?
i have been raised in a Buddhist family.
and i think that's great.
i think Buddhism is a great religion and i agree with all the teachings.
religion is one thing.
somewhere along the way someone smart came up with the word "fate" man.
i swear.
that guy is smart.
whoever that is.
i personally have been using the "word" fate a lot this past few months.
when something bad happens.i blamed fate.
when things turned out good in the end.i think it was fated.
You get what i mean?
when i couldn't get into dentsuu and yamagata it was all fate.
haha
stupid right.
when the cold hard truth was different.
friends and family said it was because i was just unlucky and all.
but yeah.
i couldn't get in because i was stupid.
hah.straight in your face.
i didn't study enough.
i thought i did.but obviously it wasn't enough.
hah.there you go.
glad i got that off my chest.
i'm really jealous of those people getting suisen...
teachers recommend you and you go straight to university...lead a happy and easy life telling everybody how "fun" studying in japan is.
etc etc.
you guys have got it good man.
But yeah that's probably how this world goes around man.
smart people get it good.
not for me though.
my college only limits it to the top 4.heh
i can blame this on fate too.you see how good i am at blaming fate??
"i'm sixth wat...just missed by 2 spots only..unlucky loh!"
"why you college like that wan?"
bullshit man.
it is what it is.
it was pretty hard for me to accept this at first.
i was blaming luck and all.
not anymore.

after failing dentsuu i was really down.
i mean...face it la.
PTS student.
UPSR straight A's
PMR straight A's
SPM 10A1 1A2

21 years old guy studying engineering in Japan.

it was smooth-sailing all along man.
and suddenly i was considering going back to malaysia because i couldn't get into a university!!!
i know man.
it's just an examination and all.
to me it was more than that.
having to face my parents.
friends.
tell them i couldn't get into university.
i was really afraid of that.
expectations.
they make you or they break you.

and then there was the big mistake i did of not going into gidai.
nagaoka and toyohashi.
they say gidais are easy to get into, but once you get in you lead a really really busy life.
thinking back.
that was the stupidest thing i have ever done in my life i think.
the reason i didn't go you ask??
call it ego if you have to.
i was thinking "bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian."
i thought i was better off studying my butt off now and not have a really really hard time at university level.
that was bullshit.
the stupid me thought that i was better off trying for normal unis like yamagata and akita and muroran.
Eventually that WAS what i did.
but it wasn't worth it.
i should have saved me all the pain and effort and stress and bullshit i had to go through studying for all those unis.
all the worrying.
goodness.
thinking back.
i was so stupid.
ahh.
all universities are the same.
gidai or not.
fucking ego.

you know what i was supposed to do this summer??
i wanted to watch linkin park and my chemical romance rock it out at summersonic!!!
that went up in smokes.
what else.
i was gonna learn how to use 3d programmes so that i can make pictures.
that too went up in smokes.
bah.
all because i chose not to go to gidai.
all because i had a gigantic ego.

going to akita and juken was a great experience for me, personally.
was a great trip.
we stayed in cheap hotels and did revisions together.
me,mior,ming rong,ridzuan,khairuddin,isamuddin.
was fun.
amazing how by just having friends around you, something you've almost given up on turns fun again.
i passed both of those unis eventually.
not everyone passed.
thank God.
wouldn't know what to do if i didn't.
now
i wake up everyday.
and actually feel thankful.
i know.
it sounds fake.
but i really do.
i'm thankful for having a great family.
you could see it in the chatbox.
that's my freaking brother right there!
haha
my parents were such pillars of strength through it all.
sister and brother were influential too.
and of course mior,ming rong,isamuddin,ridzuan.
couldn't have done this thing without you guys.
a bunch of guys sticking through shit.
hahaha
it probably was the shit that was keeping us together!!
haha

all in all it has been a really,really bumpy ride.
i'm ready to put all this behind me.
never want to go through this again.
next time anyone of you have juniors who are not going to try for gidai, slap them in the face.
slap them hard.
wake them up from the nightmare they are going to have.

i'll end this post with a few pics from the trip then..

and a few more mior asked me to help with.

it's been a long one.
thank you everyone for everything.

!

2009-09-12T18:27:00.002+09:00

it's been a while..
i missed photoshopping.

...

2009-09-06T16:59:00.002+09:00

.....

2009-09-03T20:37:00.004+09:00

can't do this anymore.
i don't get it.
i don't get how all this works.
someone bring me to God.
i need to talk to Him.

busy

2009-06-21T23:43:00.004+09:00

hellloooooooooooooooo
guys.......
whoever is staying up this late...

i don't have much time
so i'll make this quick...

i am..
well..
busy.
BUSY

been studying my butt off this past week...

i think i've covered all the syllabus finally...
ish...
i don't have confidence leh...
WHAT IF I FAIL WEHHHHHHHHH....
it all comes down to how am i going to use this final week lor...
but i have an exam on tuesday!!!!
ish...
KACAU LEH!!!!

HOW LEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARRRRRRRRFGFGGGGGGGHHHHHH

ish
bullshit.
why want to go tokyo so much????
hah.
padan muka
belajar la kau.
belajar la puas-puas.

for mechanical engineering at dentsuu rite...
yan kuang is already in lor..
and then there is this mongol dude and another indonesian guy....
from gifu kousen and yuge kousen respectively lor...
what do you think my chances are weh!!!!???

haih.
no use blabbering.
might as well go study...
BUT I AM BURNING OUT..............
BURNING OUTTTTTTTTT

help me.....

to let you know how busy and stressed out i am...

this week...

there is no picture of the week....

i was thinking of making a pic with me with white hair and long beards and all..
but yeah..
it'll take too much time.

so yeah.
i'll post this up instead.

i know...
beautiful rite....
it just sits there...
looking cool...
doesn't care what you think about it...
because it knows you want it...

you can find it here
i've been eyeing it eversince my lomo days...
but it's soooo expensive for a film camera...
haih...
so if i can't get it i look at it la.
it's been in my bookmarks eversince.
hehe
i don't care weh.
you guys can get it for me.
yeah i'll let you guys get it for me.
like suddenly you guys feel how important i have been your life or something....
how much time you guys have wasted on reading my blog..
and ter-touched and decide to buy me something...
this hassie here will do just fine..
haha

just saying you know....
haha
anyways.
yeah.
i gotta study man.
take care.
drop me a line man!
i feel lonely here.

bad

2009-06-14T20:24:00.003+09:00

wanting this bad...

haih.
i can literally puke maths right now man.

what to do.
i want this bad.
i NEED this actually.

haaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh............

moving on.
i discovered something new!
i was eating sashimi rite this past saturday...
because the supermarket near my place sells sashimi for half price after 7.30pm
haha
so yeah.
200 yen for around 10(??) slices of maguro..
haha
CHEAP!!!!

but that was not the discovery.
i eat sashimi with soy sauce like everybody does...
but there was extra soy sauce..
and a piece of toufu...
so i ate toufu and rice with soy sauce mixed with wasabi.
BAPAK SEDAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!

haha
aiyah.
that was how nice my weekend was.
haha
maths and physics and soy sauce and toufu
haha

haih.
sometimes i wonder what will happen if i don't get into university lo...
work part time and start from zero and build myself up again at a totally alien place?
graduate and go back to malaysia with a diploma?
haaaaaaah.....

thinking of all these only make me more scared weh.
guess i should go back to doing maths and physics....
numbers and alphabets don't scare me that much.
haih.
numbers and alphabets are friends.
numbers and alphabets are family.

i actually had a nightmare of failing the entrance exam leh last night!!!

haih.
someone tell me something kind weh.
i need it.

.................................................

i'm done blabbering man.
picture of the week!

you know the drill...
click for full resolution..

i gotta go man.
数学／徹底演習 is calling..
ps:
dear cedric.
thanks for lending me the book weh.
a real life saver!!

take care guys!

aksjhg;alkhask

2009-06-08T20:01:00.002+09:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHKLDHLKAH:KJDHSFDHFFDHSKLFJKJ:LDF
afhldashfdlsafkldsafsa;lfgh;lafdlkafkj;

aklfjaslfdjlkasjf'JJ;lJ

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*(&_*&+)!(&*!)^*_(^!_(*^$_$&)(+£*+_)(£+_"+"P}£P~£U*((*$^})($U$

)!(!!)*!*!)*+!_*£_(U*£POUPORUQNEOIR P*){U!{!

WHAT THE HELL????

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

squirrels 2

2009-06-07T14:32:00.003+09:00

hello.

just one more month ah.....

aaaaaaaa....

picture of the week
mike wazowski!!!

what.
i thought people like big cute eyes wat.
how do you like me now?
haha

buhbye.
take care guys.

pic update

2009-05-31T12:11:00.004+09:00

i know i know
syaza has already mentioned this.
i said i will be busy watching squirrels.
i have a reason for this post.
i have been watching squirrels all day yesterday.
2 hours from a sunday working out the other half of my brain seems to be a pretty fair deal wat...
that is what i think at least

huahuahua
so yeah
picture of the week.

look.
my desktop did things to me.
haha!

okay lah.

buhbyesssss
take care everyone!!

edit:
stumbled upon this site yesterday...
de monsters
cute!!!!
haha!!!

squirrels

2009-05-24T16:45:00.004+09:00

heeeellllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

eh i don't think i'll be updating this blog as often ady lo.
like at least until July you know..
i will be busy...
watching squirrels
haha

i'll be...busy
i will update like once in a while though....
like for example...
i will update if i kena H1N1
and i will update if anyone near me gets H1N1
and i will update if anyone near me dies of H1N1
erm...
something like that la haha

eh
my god this thing got new emoticons leh.
see

huhu!!

my god!!!
haha!
really man.
the dude making all these emoticons must be a genius weh.

back to the main topic.

u see
another new one
haha!!
aiyah.
pokoknya.
i will update!
but not so often anymore!
because i'll be busy!
watching squirrels!!!
haha

picture of the week!

this picture is a parody to calvin's post or his beloved MG actually haha.
diaorang tengah gembira sebab beli Apple baru.
so saya pun beli lah jugak Apple.

haha
huahauhauhua

what.
haha

i think that's all for this time.
till then.
take care guys!!!!!

mother's day

2009-05-10T18:51:00.003+09:00

a friend of mine lost his mother just this past week.
and i realised.
what am i going to do if i go through the same thing?
and then
i realised.
i don't know what to.

you wanna know why?
because i'm shitty!
i only go back once a year.
and even then i don't do shit.
i mean i do the light stuff.
help pound garlic ke..
tumis sambal ke..
sapu lantai ke..
wipe the car ke..
paint stuff ke...
help clean attic ke..
cheng beng ke..
all the light stuff.
i didn't go anywhere during the whole one month of my holidays.
sarawak to visit lek..
or even kl.
or even ipoh.
because i wanted to spend the whole one month with my parents at home actually.
like just, quality time.

but here in japan
online call sometimes only.
and the sms-es and emails.
kadang kadang kalau parents call waktu tengah buat report..
hah..habis lah.

i'm not like some of the guys.
they call home like every week or so.
especially sii lee.
that guy i tell you.
badan macho.
muka handsome.
but i tell you
anak solleh gila gila weh.
he calls home every week!!
when cuti..
he calls home every night!
i really look up to that guy.

back to the point..
and the point is.
i feel shitty as a son.
as a person in whole.
i guess i'm gonna have to do something about that.

to my dear friend.
if you are reading this.
i'm sorry i couldn't be there.
i can't say i know what you are going through.
because i don't.
i just hope you stay calm.
and make it out of this test a stronger person.

happy mother's day
to mummy and papa.
and to mums and dads worldwide.

boing

2009-05-06T09:07:00.003+09:00

today i'm here to talk about a great thing...
a really beautiful thing...
hell to me this IS beauty itself...

i'm like what...
4 years late or something...
but i just watched "Memoirs of a geisha"!!!!
OH MY GODDDDD
OH MY GAWWWWWDDDDDDDD
that thing is not a movie..
no....
the matrix or whatelse.... urm say lord of the rings or something...
THOSE are movies...
this...
no...
they are just not the same!!
memoirs of a geisha is like....
a moving piece of genius and beauty and gentleness and..
i mean
everything single thing is just great!!
every detail.
every scene.
every line in the script.
everything!

or maybe i'm just saying this because of the pretty actresses...
hehe
zhang ziyi!!!!
gong li!!!!
dato' michelle yeoh!!!!
and suzuka ohgo(child actor for chi-yo)!
their acting was crazy!
especially gong li i guess..
my god she makes you HATE her
but at the same time you HAVE to like her because she's pretty
haha
wow man
wow.

and the scenes
my gawwwdddd...
i think you can just screen shot EVERY second of the movie and you will NOT find a SINGLE bad picture!!!
i swear!!
it was such a great sight!
no over-the-roof CGI stuff man
just beautifully executed perfect simplicity!!

haih.
i've not been THIS blown away man.
not even when Neo from the matrix flew inside that agent's body and literally deleted that guy weh.
rob marshall.
i hate you.
what??
what do you expect from people who watch this movie??
go around living life low on self esteem ah??

i can go on and on..
but ya i'll end it here.
definitely a legend this movie...
for me at least.
.............................

and golden week is coming to an end

the kouhais went to the tokyo gathering...
i wasn't gonna do anything actually.
but a few friends said they want to have a barbeque session..
and invited me along!!!
so kind of them

they're not always like this though...
only during winter when they want to snowboard together
or during spring when they want to barbeque stuff
yeah
only twice a year
haha

so a friend came to fetch me
then off we went...
and bakar daging and sayur and goreng mee
and beer and juice
and cakap bukan bukan
and play baseball
and play ultimate
and tired
and dapat belanja aquarius sebab menang
and very tired
and go back

my god
definitely had a great time
i mean for the past years i was too busy going to tokyo and all..
it didn't feel like a holiday.....
i mean it's fun and all..
but...hmm.
definitely had a great golden week this year.
tulips and barbeque
haha
my god!!!!!!
i AM boring!!!!

NEVER realised that!!!
haha

lastly...
pictures!

i was listening to kiseki by greeeen while tweaking this shot...
so yeah...
i don't know..
it's something i want to look down the years and think
"oh yeah i had a great time"
.......
nah you guys won't know man.
haha
because i'm weird
like weird in a weird way.

haha

anyways...i would love to embed the song on the sidebar...
but something seems to be wrong with imeem these days??
everything seems to be limited 30 seconds..
you have to listen at the site itself for the whole song it seems??

that's all for this post actually...
take care guys!!
gosh i love ending abruptly

it's the GW!!!!!

2009-05-03T08:54:00.008+09:00

helllooooooooo everyone...
it's the "weekly monologue session with zhen hui"!!!!
welcome back..
so how's everyone doing??

hmmm??

fine???

great???

hmm???

no response???

well i guess that figures...
because it's a monologue session.
get it??
get it??
no right.

so this week i have for you...
tulips!!!!!
i'll post up pictures...
you see, toyama has this huge tulip festival every year..
it's in a place called tonami...
go search for yourself la..
it's not like you all are coming or what right..
haih.
.
..
...
ya lah ya lah i'll give you guys the link la.
nah
hah
ambik kau.
so back to this tulip thingie..
it's a really BIG park...
that has nothing BUT tulips!!!
just tulips,tulips, tulips..

tulips left
tulips right
pretty women
tulips front
tulips back
it's crazy man..
i mean sometimes you get a glimpse of human beings..
but other than that it's just....TULIPS!!!

pink tulips
black tulips
yellow tulips
white tulips
pretty women
dried tulips
fresh tulips
tulip buds
tulip stalks

(got problem? come settle in the comments section :p )

i made my own bento actually...
rather take my own sweet time and eat in the park watching people take pictures of tulips than go line up in the hot sun for what..takoyaki or something..

all in all it was a fun trip!!
i'm glad i was forced to go actually...
in a weird way..
Dhinesh (a real Indian dude) said we should go because it's our final year in toyama..
so yeah.

so here are the pics

i'm not really happy with how these turned out actually..
haih
oh well.

oh this week's song is by sambomasters!!!
they're actually great live!!!!
they look baka-baka-ish
but their performance i tell you...
gila weh!!!
gila!!!
looking forward to this summer!!!
hehe
............................................

it's a lonely lonely golden week for me..
you guys have fun!!!
have lots and lots of fun!!!
GO!!!
shooh!!

and update your blogs.

till then...
take care!!!

i can polish stuff

2009-04-26T17:50:00.002+09:00

nah.
what's up everyone...
nothing's UP with me this week..
the rain man...
the rain....
2 days of continuous rain and strong winds man....
dear god!!!
i have to go get bread for my breakfast wan leh!!!!
i mean the rain is okay
but why the wind!!!!??

......................................................

moving on!
i have kenkyuu lo lately..
everyone has theirs i guess..
i've never talked about my kenkyuu rite...
my kenkyuu uses MCF
which means magnetic compound fluid
it's like this really thick magnetic icky liquid stuff la basically.
we use MCF to polish stuff.
now this MCF's specialty is that it separates into ions when you put it in a magnetic field.
so using this MCF's specialty...
i polish stuff...
stuff that you can't polish or cannot afford to polish by hand.
for example...
really tiny tubes..
or when you need a really high level of smoothness..
you can't do that by hand...
so that's where my kenkyuu is SUPPOSED to come in.
first we put the stuff you need to polish under a strong magnetic field...
and flow the MCF through it
and we connect the magnets to a motor.
and we turn the motors on.
so the whole thing turns round and round...
and on its way turning round and round, the separated ions starts polishing whatever it comes into contact with.
and for an endless supply of MCF...
we use a pump.
can you see the whole picture??
the pump pumps the MCF
the MCF goes into the magnetic field..
starts separating into positive and negative ions..
the separated ions comes into contact with whatever it is we want to polish...
the magnet turns round and round...
and polishing occurs
et voila...
it's SUPPOSED to turn out that way la.
10 hours per week man.
baru 2 weeks only so far.
we've got the pumps rock and rolling.
now we'll have to figure out the MCF's composition...
how many percent of this and that...
and which combination of magnets would be best..
and at what speed to turn the magnets...
and at what velocity to pump the MCF...
it's a loooong way to go..
anyone else here doing MCF???
exchange ideas maybe??
hit me if there is anyone out there!!

okay...
i think that's all for this week.....
just wanted to share what my kenkyuu is about...
if you guys don't understand..
i polish stuff at my kenkyuu la.
I GO TO MY RESEARCH LAB AND POLISH STUFF WITH POLISHING LIQUID la
HA.
simple rite.
I WEAR RUBBER GLOVES AND POLISH STUFF WITH WASHING LIQUID
hehe!

the song for this week..
we're going really really back in time!!!!
it's "i hate myself for loving you" byyyyy
JOAN JETT and the blackhearts!!!!!!!!
even i don't know who this is...
but holy cows the song kicks butt!!!!
it's rumoured that joan jett is coming to japan for summer sonic even...
maybe i'll have a chance to see her then....
hehe
click to listen man!!!

this week's picture!

really really..
my umbrella was broken.
i wanted to go out.
but i couldn't.
because my umbrella was broken..
.
..
...
get it??get it??
broken umbrella?
rain?
can't get out??
.
..
...
don't understand the joke ah...
nvm la

take care guys!

dear d70s

2009-04-19T09:10:00.004+09:00

what happens to a memory??
let's say there is this beautiful memory...
a memory so beautiful that everytime you think about it you smile unknowingly?
it's okay when you can still remember...
but what happens if you forget about it??
can't human beings remember EVERY nice memory??
why do human beings forget?

......

anyways

lately i feel different.

don't know why though.

haih

i look at my pictures and i feel like deleting most of them.

don't know why.

i think i need, like a really big change.

change how i do things.

change ideas.

i don't have the money to change equipment.haha

or maybe i just need a break.

ergh.

oh and i think today or somewhere near this week is my nikon d70s's first anniversary!!!
everybody jump around and shout wooh!!!
looking back at this 1 year.
i would say it's been a loooong one year.
from the first hanami session to the purchase of the "bokeh monster" 50mm f1.4...
it was really fun.
haaaah.
1 year of taking pictures.
hah
i don't dare say "1 year of photography".
the word "photography" sounds somehow scary to me.
don't you guys think it's a tad too professional-ish??
i see the kouhais at facebook going crazy over all this.
buying dslr-s and shooting this and shooting that.
Heck.
going "ooh i love photography!!!"
hah.
bullshit.
yeah.
BULLSHIT!
you guys love taking pictures.
not photography.
photography is art
something i wouldn't know much of.
something all of us engineering guys wouldn't know of.
haha
photography is composition.
photography is planning.
photography is post-processing.
photography is mastering all your tools.
everything including your camera, your lenses,your editing software and everything else.
not just sticking up your two fingers in a victory sign and pressing the button.

do you know what a camera really is?
do you know what happens when you press a button?
do you know how the light sensors work?
do you know how the focal point is calculated?
do you know how your camera finds the focal point when you set it to auto-focus?
do you even know what is the material of your camera's body?
how about the lense?
do you know how the shutter moves?
do you REALLY know your camera?

i mean, how do you say that you love your camera without even knowing it?
and how do you use your camera without even knowing it?

so how do you go on to say
"oh, my hobby is photography!" ???
it doesn't make sense.

nothing makes sense to me right now.

ah.

sorry for the rant.
i needed this.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

time for picture of the week!
this picture was taken during the hanami session with the daigaku students.
people like watching sakuras.
i don't know why.
haha
but if it sells,hey!!
who cares??!!!
hehe
you know the drill.
click on it to view full size.
download it even.
i'll be flattered.
that will make my day even!!
just promise to tell me.

i guess that's all for this week though.
a grunty confused zhen hui haha.
this week's song is by exile!
click it if you want to listen.
i don't know about what you guys think...
but i think it's a beautiful acoustic arrangement.
with an ugly title haha.
enjoy and take care!

2009-04-05T22:58:00.003+09:00

i have this sudden urge to delete stuff...
i don't know why..
delete stuff..
throw away stuff..
uninstall stuff..
an urge to "dispose" stuff man..
is there anything wrong with me ah??
anyone knows??
am i like sick or something ah??
haha

this week's song is "crazy" by aerosmith!!!!!
click it for the maximum jiwang effect while reading this entry!!
haha adui

esok dah sekolah!!

tak nak pergi....
i'm not done yet with my holidays :(

i think i had a block..
something like a creative block..
a creative block for an uncreative dude.
an uncreative creative block..
so when you cancel out the creative and the uncreative...
you end up with just a block la i guess...
so i had a block la
haha

i think i can safely say that this holidays i had a veeeeerrrryyy solid reason for not taking pictures...
it's what most people on flickr give when they don't post up pictures.
haha

i did not take pictures because i had a life!!!!!

haha!!!

oh my...
i had sooooo much fun in malaysia!!!!!!
kesian manusia manusia yang tak balik!!!

haha

but from today onwards it's back to normal...
haih.

i thought i had a lot to babble about when i clicked the "new post" button actually...
but i guess i don't haha

anyways
here are some pictures.

*this is for guna who accompanied me for a whole five days!!!
basketball,movies,bowling and everything.
everything was soooo much fun!
i promised him a picture.

i'll update again...
when i have the time hehe
till then
take care guys!

kurr boh!!!

2009-03-18T00:04:00.005+09:00

like what...
i am freaking bored!!
my friends aren't back...
GUYS!!!!!!!
CUM BACK!!!!!!!
oops that sounded wrong again... :p
COME BACK!!!!!!!!
017-5248164
call me!!!!
because you know what??
nobody is :(
oh my gawwddddddd....

and my plans to actually catch the wild boars on camera ain't gonna happen anytime soon because it rains like all the time!

i think i'm being pushed to the brink of dying bored...
that must be like the worst state to die in...
like what would the news read like??

"TAIPING,Perak-A short-haired student on his holidays was found dead in his room earlier yesterday.Chan Zhen Hui, a bright young man aged 20 was pronounced dead at the Taiping General Hospital on arrival.Victim was suspected to be very,very bored.Further investigations showed that..."

Man...
i don't wanna die like that...
i don't wanna die bored..
haha

i think i'm gonna start doing something on photoshop..
like something i've never done before...
do something big...
do something new...
maybe then i can use all these free time...
huhu
the results like usual, will be posted on this blog...
so keep reading this blog man.

ooh i painted the fence today..
yeah.
i feel like a man.
haha
that's how bored i am man.

and ooh yeah.
true confessions!
I did the Macarena With a football player at the dinner table because I can't control myself!

it's funny because i came across the same line when i did syaza's tag!
hoho!!

nah.
it's the tag.
i didn't really do the macarena.
not with a football player.
maybe with a few stray wild boars.
but not with a football player.
in tight shorts.
in tight white shorts.

haha!
oh my god i'm getting crazy..

and this picture is a continuation to my MMM series..
although mum isn't masak-ing in this pic...
my mum is cute!!
my mum rocks!!!!
i thinks this pic is gonna go down as one of the most priceless-emotion thingie picture i'll ever take!
like in those citibank commercials..
the "......=priceless" things
gawd i lurve my mom..
anyone of you love my mum?? :p

better sign off now.
i'll be posting again in a few days..
keep it tight my men...
take care!

feed my koi!!

2009-03-13T18:47:00.002+09:00

guys guys guys!!!!
see what have i found!
damn nice weh this thing..
feed it faster!!

weeee

2009-03-13T11:10:00.003+09:00

hellooooooo everyone...
sorry for the long absence!
really...i've been resting...
you know...stuff you do when you're back in malaysia you know..
a little of maths here and there...
not much though.
hehe

taiping's been raining a lot...like it does usually...
no surprise there though...
and oh my god..
you should have a look at the new taiping sentral weh...
like a shopping mall!!!!
well i mentioned "like"
because...
it's not exactly a shopping mall i guess...
it looks like one on the outside though...
holy cows..
you should see it for yourself!
starbucks!vinnci!!
in taiping!!!!!
my god i never ever dreamt of that!!
but times have changed i guess...

truth is...i'm a very stingy guy....
i love taiping as it was...
i love taiping the way it was when i grew up.
i want taiping the way i had it.
i want people to buy their groceries at the market..
i want people to buy their cloths at the bazar..
i want people to buy their breads from the vendor that comes honking at the front of your door every night..
or from the bakeries....or from the aunty at the pasar with weird , weird buns...

okay that sounded wrong :p

okay my point is...
i think less and less people do that now!
because there's TESCO and that taiping sentral stuff...
don't get me wrong!
i do not detest development.
i just hope taiping doesn't crumble under all this development..
i want taiping to remain the peaceful town it is.
city council should continue mantaining the balance between "heritage" and "development" i guess...

yes.

you blow ah.

moving on!!!
you know behind tesco is actually a little "mini" temple...
you wanna know what it's for??
i laughed my butt off when i first heard this from my friends..
guys there will ring a bell at 7pm...
at guess what?
a herd of wild boars will come skipping happilly down the hill singing "wouldn't it be nice" by the beach boys!!!
oh i've included the song at the side..
jusssssttttt for you guys!

click it!
so yeah the babi hutans come skipping, rolling happily down the hill...
for what!????

you ready for the answer????

taiping people who buy 4d..
the lottery thing la..
japanese call it takara kuji.
ha.
that.
people who buy that believe that if you touch a wild boar..
you will get like crazily lucky!
whatever numbers you have bought will strike!!!
or so they say...
so they will bring stuff to feed these wild boars.....
AND touch them obviously...
i don't know!!!
i haven't seen that yet...
i'm planning to..

and if i do i'll take pictures of it...
haha
the thing is..
i don't think this is bad!!!
because the wild boars have a proper meal this way!
taiping's nature are being chopped down to make way for housing projects...
which obviously i think is stupid..
can't be prevented though i guess..
number of residents are rising..
so the wildlife have nowhere to go to!
back then it was the "monkeys" problem..
till i guess they all "moved" to caravan park and rob campers every chance they get..
now it's wild boars...
oh...
but i guess we won't be seeing any wild boars roaming around town...
as long as taiping people continue having the urge to strike huge at 4d and toto...

GO TAIPING!!!!

wooh!!!

and this week's picture..
it's a picture from MMM!
MMM stands for Masak Masak dengan Mummy!!
haha

take care guys!

2009-02-21T22:19:00.002+09:00

recently i've been feeling good
hehe
don't ask me why...
i don't know!!
things feel fun again.
sunday mornings with hot coffee are great again!
it's crazy!
i think a big part of it is because the weather's improving....
no more snow...
it's not snowing anymore!
yay!

and it's only 2 more weeks till i am home!!!!!!
muahahaha

i think gonna go on a shopping spree right after my exams man...
like actually BUY stuff...
ah...
one of these days....
i will...

and hey...
my blog is white now!!!!
doesn't it look sooo much spacier now???!!
and i took down the header too...
it's sooo empty!!
haha

oooh
gotta go now
i'll update more once my exams are over!
halfway through now,actually.

take care everyone!!
don't be like this bear i saw...
he's all lonely and all.

this week it's otsuka ai!
press play!!!

2009-02-15T08:51:00.003+09:00

escapism

2009-02-11T15:57:00.003+09:00

hah.
i kick ass.
my own that is.

buhbye guys!!
take care!

2009-02-09T08:27:00.002+09:00

今週も楽しいように。。。

take care guys!

hon

2009-02-05T19:51:00.003+09:00

ほ　ん
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　谷川俊太郎

ほんとは
ほんとうは
しろいかみのままでいたかった

もっとほんとうのことをいうと
みどりのはのしげるきのままでいたかった

だが
もうほんにされてしまったのだから

むかしのことはわすれようとおもって
ほんはじぶんをよんでみた

「ほんとうはしろいかみのままでいたかった」

とくろいかつじでかいてあった

わるくないとほんはおもった

ぼくのきもちをみんながよんでくれる

ほんはほんでいることが
ほんのすこしうれしくなった

to those who can read japanese...
ponder these words well!!
take care everyone!!

pressure

2009-02-04T00:47:00.003+09:00

pressure is actually a beautiful thing

you guys know what turns normal carbon atoms into diamond???

you're right!!!!!!!

the answer is pressure.

you know what makes human beings like me feel stressed?

yes!
you are right again!!!

the answer is..
pressure also!!!!

so yeah.
do you wanna remain a carbon atom or
do you wanna be a piece of diamond?

*some people are born straight as diamonds.
that's not fair.
they don't go through the "pressure" part.
but where's the fun in that?
they crack as soon as the slightest pressure is applied.
because they can't handle it.
therefore,my beloved friends...
let's all be beautiful diamonds the hard way.

haha.
take care everyone...

busy busy busy

2009-02-02T19:39:00.004+09:00

busy busy busy busy busy
work to do!!!
lotssssss of work to do!!!!!

but it's okay i guess....
just 3 more weeks of this craziness...
then it's 5th year!!!
cheer up my friends!!!
this will all be over soon!!!!

ps:you guys wanna know where heaven is??
i can tell you...
but you guys must keep it a secret alrite??

promise??

here you go :)
heaven

click the launch a quick playlist of all yoshida brothers songs thingie...
and let the whole playlist autoplay....
does wonders for your brain man.
trust me!!!
especially the track called "rising"
crazy stuff!!

ok la...
gotta go do stuff ady...
take care guys.

2009-01-26T07:13:00.004+09:00

happy chinese new year guys!!!!

sorry ah for not posting last week...
it's been a crazily busy week this past week....
for me at least...
it's crazy man...
i've never gone through a week with so much to do.
sleeping everyday at 1 with the lights left on and waking up at 6..
anyways i'm glad it's over...

it's weird...
it's kinda like common sense that we get busy as our level of education gets higher..
i always wonder..
does that give us a right to complain??
to complain that we are busy??
..

on a lighter note!!!!
it's the new year guys!!!!!
this yesterday yien san cooked lo!!!!
gave a little bit to ced and i pulak tu!!
gila ah!
everybody clap hands for yien san!!!!!!

and yeah what else...

yeah
NEVER go out cycling in a heavy snow!!!!!
trust me.
i know now.
haha
i went cycling last saturday in the heavy snow!!!
and you know what happened??
the tires of my bicycle FROZE!!
it was just stuck there!!
it wasn't even turning!
it's crazy man...
i had to lift the thing and walk!!
that's it man..
no more cycling in the snow for me..
that's the last of it..

sorry ah guys..
nothing to write about this week..
not that i write good stuff anyways..
even i don't read the stuff i write!!!
haha

urm what else....let's see...

oh yeah i found a great remix of ben e. king's "stand by me"!!!!
by the fugees!!!
go on click it!!!!!CLICK IT!!!!!!!

i think that's all guys...
we've reached the picture part...
this week's picture is.
.
.
.
.
.
.

you all know the drill..
right click and open in new tab...
or continue facebook-ing each other and leave this page untouched..
whichever suits you man :)

until then....
signing of here man..
going to school...
take care guys!!!!
and have a HAPPY niu(new) year!!!!
whoosh!!!!!!!

2009-01-18T11:04:00.002+09:00

*warning:this is a looooooong one.brace yourselves.happy reading :)
or just skip to the end.

weeeeeeee :)
oh my god chinese new year is just around the corner...
yayyy...
hah.
i'm not happy.
not happy at all.
i think chinese new year and all the other new years are actually fun ONLY for kids.
you wanna know why?
because kids are the only sane people around.
look at them..
running around in their pyjamas shouting their hearts out.
maybe that's why kids aren't stressed out at ALL..
because they scream all the time..
screaming releases stress..
yeah..maybe that's why!!
anyway back to chinese new years and all the other new years.
i'm not thinking sanely right now..
because there are 2 crows flying around outside...
people don't like crows for a reason...
they're black...they are noisy..
i don't like them too..
but they remind me of Penang..
they remind me of my cousin's place...
you see i used to spend my holidays in Penang back in the days..
in my cousin's house...
it was so much fun back then...
just four boys and 2 girls playing with legos...and kicking a rubber football...cycling to a nearby field where there was that "pakcik" who sells "sirap ais" for 20 cents.
well there was only 3 bikes so one of us would have to walk.haha
and there was the playground...we would play 2 on 2 on 1 all in the evenings..haha
the 1 being my dad haha

and thinking of Penang and chinese new year automatically brings me back to Kroh..
i think nobody know of Kroh...
well Kroh is a veeeeeeerrryy little town situated just an hour or so's drive from Baling,Kedah..
trust me when i say little
it's the typical "kampung"...
with old wooden houses...
and new small terraces..
and a playground...
with cows feeding on the grass there...
and of course..what comes out of the cows after they have eaten..the smelly stuff..
haha
come chinese new year...we'll all gather there...
the whole family..
some of us will reach earlier..
some later...
my family will usually reach early though..
see.. i told you my unability to wake up late runs in the blood :p
so what do you do when you reach early??
you do maths!!!
haha
at least that was what i used to do...
or what my mum used to make me do...haha
that was in the mornings..
before maths we would go marketing..
don't remember the prices though
evenings would be occupied with playing at the playground..
i think i got injured there a few times..
sprained wrist from falling off the see-saw...falling off the swing...falling off the monkey bars...falling off the slide..
a lot ah
if the playground got boring we would kill mosquitoes...
with the electrical racquet-ty thingie...
man i was actually good at that haha :)
it was like i could actually read their minds...
i knew where they hid...i knew where they would run to..haha
either that or we would kill giant spiders..at grandma and grandpa's little garden..
or chase chickens...
or try to ride on their HUGE,old bicycles...the ones where you can't actually sit on because it was too tall
or play "gasing"...
or play "cop ball" with the orang asli kids...
or help papa adjust the television aerials..
or play "melom" at the porch..
anything to kill time man.
then the other families would reach...
then the whole preparations for CNY begins..
cutting angpows to hang on trees...
cooking...
aww man i love the cooking part
because i get to eat!!!!
haha
we would all gather and lay tables and stools on the porch on chinese new year eve...
because there would be steamboat!!!
heaven man..heaven...
everybody would look so happy...
chit and chat away...
and chinese new years would start with my parents waking us kids up...
and we had to wear new clothes..
i never understood this thing...
why the MUST??
haha
why can't i wear my worn out t shirt??
it is much comfortable anyway :)
we even had lucky draw!!
Aunt would make the kids all line up in one straight line and pick an orange and an angpow..
"bai bai" for a while..
and go open up the angpow..
what you see is what you get! haha :)
haha
then comes more angpows..
hehe
then we visit relatives and we get even MORE angpows :)
the people come to visit grandma and grandpa and they have no choice but to give us even MORE angpows :)
we had to report every ang pow to mum and papa because they would jot who it was from down...
dunno why though :)
it's money anyway rite. haha

anyways that was what my chinese new years were like...
it was great!
but of course,along those years.
people grow and change.
some left us because God said they had to.
but that's okay.
because they're in a better place,smiling down at us even right now.
some like me,left because we had to do this thing called "study".
and that's okay too i guess..
because we'll be back..
just at a different time.

so yeah.
Chinese New Years will never be the same again actually...
the family is much, much smaller already now...
less merrier...
no more stinky playgrounds...
no more cutting angpows to decorate trees..
for people like me...
we spend chinese new years alone..
in our rooms..

in fact i think that's how the human brain works..
it's always a step too late in realising things..
so yeah..my message to all of you reading this..
realize all the beauty and happiness around you!!
before it's all too late.

okay this would be a really nice timing to hit the play button for the song at the right!!
faster faster!!!!
i think i am really liking tokyo jihen..
the heavy bass..
it's a dark band..led by sheena ringo..
a band with split personalities i would even say..
go search imeem go!!

it's still a little early..
but yeah since i am already feeling like this..
happy chinese new year everyone!!
have a HAPPY one okay...
no matter where you are.

okay that was a long one :p
forgive me..
i just wanted to document my memories so that i can read them again when i have Alzheimer's
bluek

and it's picture time again..
yay

ke hadapan saudari syazalina,
atas cadangan saudari,hamba telah cuba sedaya upaya mengubah-ubahkan gambar hamba untuk merupai mimpi hamba..
yang berikut adalah hasil-hasilnya...
terima kasih banyak-banyak!
sekiranya terdapat apa-apa silap salah.
hamba minta maaf menyusur sepuluh jari.
:p

feel free to click on them...
or right click and open in new tab..
whichever man :)
it's full size that way hehe

bluek :p
nah.
take care everyone!

2009-01-10T16:38:00.005+09:00

urrrggggggghhhhhhh

body hurts...

i swear to never ever forget my knee pads when snowboarding ever again.

haha

i wonder if anyone still visits this blog..

sorry blog..
for leaving you untouched so long

hehe

truth is..

this whole an-update-per-week thingie has come to an end guys..
sorry
but yeah.
i'll update don't worry
it just won't be as often as it was.

anyways let's move on.
recently i went to this snowboard/ski gathering for ex-ppktj-ians
it was real fun...
REALLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY FUN

HUAHUAHUAHUA!!!!

nah
i just think it's too bad the whole batch couldn't meet up...

what's was so fun u ask???
basketball
snow
fukubukuro

but most importantly meeting up with old friends i think..
seriously
the snow was hard...
the food was not that good anyways..
it was SUPPOSED to feel like a bad trip...
but it didn't!!
it actually felt great!

it felt like...
it felt like ppktj all over again!!
seriously
bad food..
dirty toilets.
stupid air conditioning units...
stupid utm students who steal stuff...
shitty basketball court..
bad everything to be honest..

bad everything but good friends!
and in the end you get over the bad toilets and bad food.
but the memories with friends last forever!

it's was exactly what this snowboarding trip was!!

hell i met with wei tatt!!!
first time in 2 years!!!
you should have seen how much cuter the guy has become man
with his neat short hair and all!
haha
it's great to see everyone doing just fine..
i mean how long are wo gonna remember each other??
we're already like separated to different colleges...
after this we're going to universities...
then we work...
and disappear from each others' lives!!
right?
so yeah it's moments like these that i don't want to forget.

sempais and kouhais and friends...
it's amazing how humans think really.
emotions really change your perceptions.
that can work for or against you actually...

i would like to think this time it worked for me.
us.
in general, i think.
i think sempai-kouhai relations have definitely improved this trip...
gossips...and "discussions"...
haha
just look at the facebook photo comments man...
urghhhh
so full of luuurrvvvee...
uuurghh

haha

i think i got my point across.

i have got picturessssssssssssssssss...
which ones do you guys wanna see first??
?
?
?
?
?

i guess i'll go with the TKS ones first..
what's TKS you ask??
toyama kousen snowboarding
haha
i'm lame i know
anyways TKS isn't a school club or anything..
it's just 4 guys from a class who decided to snowboard together because 2 of them have cars
haha
so yeah TKS went to 牛岳スキー場 last night...
hopefully the first of many sessions to come.

okay now that that's over...
these are pictures of ahlee and yow keong...
the theme for the following 3 pictures is "celebrity".
think urm...
red carpet.
cameras flashing.
posing.

haha

so yeah that's all i have for this time...
i don't know when the next post will be...
might be tomorrow
might be next week
might be next month
don't wait guys haha

so yeah till next time.
take care and happy missing the ones you love!!!!
haha

ps:puuuuuuuuhhhhhleeeaaaassee with a cherry on top, listen to the song..it's so cute...

2008-12-24T07:33:00.002+09:00

helooooo
long time no see..
i know i know
a two week break :P
forgive me my loves...

truth is i have been busy..
the week before last week i was busy getting my snowboard stuffs...
then i went snowboarding..
but it was the man-made snow thing...
gosh...hurt till you wish you didn't have a butt weh..
or shoulders...or wrists for that matter
haha
then last week i was busy translating thesises..
the whole system here in 4th year is pretty weird man....
translating thesises seems to be "important"??
reading a japanese is hard enough...
then they expect you to read another thesis..
an ENGLISH thesis written by a JAPANESE dude...
then they tell you to translate it back into japanese...
?????
?????????
????????????

i have another session at 9 am later huahuahua
it's 7.40 now :D
stupid teacher..so hardworking.
yyyyerrrrrr.
from 9 to 5 pulak tuh.
goodbye to one day of my holidays.

back to this post.
i had a REALLLLLLYYY scary dream last night weh.
they say it helps to record your dreams.
so here goes.

i was dead in that dream.
like really dead.
there were really lots of people there...it was kinda like a jail..
haha
maybe i was in hell.
???
i know :D
i thought i was going to heaven haha :D
we had to walk bare-foot in some woods(or something like that)
don't ask me :)
it was a DREAM..
even i don't know what that was. :)
we were being treated like shit man...
pure bull shit.
being hit and all..
then there was a mailbox for each of us.
so i went and open mine right...
there were 4 letters.
1 was from my mum and dad.
another was from my sis.
another one was from my brother.
i read the one from my brother.
he wrote that he was great.
he said that it has been a while since he last wrote..
and that the whole family's doing fine.
coping to get through life without me.

seriously..i was crying at this point..
you know..
the crying-in-dream thingie rite..

back to the dream..
then suddenly everyone was running for their lives...
someone i met while showering told me that somebody blew the ground floor up.
so yeah.
CHAOS
then we were all running.
then the skies opened up man.
i swear!!!
it was like a movie!!the skies just opened up!
then we all started jumping down!!
towards Earth!!!
imagine!!
a bunch of dead souls returning to the earth!!!
haha
the dream ended there though...

i TOLD you it was a weird dream..
ahhh...
anyone wants to help explain what this means to me...
please...by all means...
haha :D

i'm ending this post now..
i have to get ready for the kenkyuu...
huahuahua
oh and merry christmas to all of you....
i don't even celebrate christmas...
heh :D
take care!!!

death and after that..?

2008-12-07T08:27:00.004+09:00

gooooooood morning everyone :)
first of all..
apologies on my behalf regarding the 2-week long silence..
wuahahaah
exam ah..
anyway it's all over now...
so yeah...my "normal" life...
as in pictures and blogging resumes..

but let's all reserve that for later.
we TALK first..
haha

this week..
we talk about...
death.

i sometimes think about what happens when we die...
do we really go to heaven or hell??
like is there really an afterlife-like place??
you know...
who is to judge whether i am good or bad??
who is to judge whether i am to go into heaven or hell??
what do they do in heaven OR hell??
GOD does all that i guess..
when i die.
i wanna talk to GOD.
like have a heart-to-heart session with Him haha :)
find out if he really is just one dude..
or is he a few guys...like different religions and all..
:p
and ask Him about terrorism and global warming...
ask him about equality
poverty
hunger
natural disasters
death
children
karma

sometimes i wonder what is the ideal age to die???
is it better to die young??
BUT never take your own life though..
that's against the rules.
i don't wanna die old...
you know with diseases and pain and all..
causing pain to people around me...
you know what??
that's the problem...
causing pain to the people around us...
times have changed..
in japan...
old people are taking care of old people!!!!
i watched the news last week and guess what i saw!!
a 70 year old killed her own 76 year old husband...
and had the heart to spray his rotting corpse with insectiside to prevent flies from swarming around it..
the reason???
money and 介護疲れ(giving up from the pain and trouble of taking care of the sickly)
????
HELL don't get me wrong..
i DO want to die gracefully..
but only on the basis that i have an able family who is able to care for me.
people say sending their parents to the old folks' home is just like dumping them...
NO
NO
NO
there's also the other way around.
it's because we are looking for better and more trustworthy care that we trust old folks' homes..
i don't know about you guys...
but me??
yeah no prob.
when i'm old.
i'm going to an old folk's home..
HAHA.
even if my children are against it.
i'll go like...
"oh you don't want me to go??
nonononono...
fuck you.
it's MY money...
i'm doing whatever i want with it."

HAHA :D

seriously.
i would rather go there than see my children and wife see me moaning in pain and have them all stressed up about me.

that's just how i wanna grow old.

and when i die i don't want fancy funerals and all man.
you wanna know what my ideal funeral is man??
i don't want the little kids to be crying.
i don't want my loved ones to be wearing black and white.
wear colourful!!
be happy!
i don't want the traditional joss-sticks and all those hell money and all..
i want my grandchildren's happy drawings stuck all over my coffin..
drawings of rainbows and happy children with their moms and dads on happy playgrounds.
and everyone HAS to bring a flower.
any flower will do.
sunflower...daisies...roses..you know anything will do.
and throw those flowers with me when i get cremated.
beautiful.

but everyone has their own opinions you know.
or maybe i'm just weird haha :D
go on.
comment on what you think.

anyway moving on...
my exams are over!!!!
WOOOHOO!!!
i was like this all day long yesterday.

got really tired..
it was like meeting up with and old friend.
an old friend named Pho To Shop :D
only that that old friend didn't miss you at all..
it was all one way.
haha

anyway enjoy the photo for this week.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i had the whole street fighter/superhero thing lingering around in my head throughout my exams...
and this was the end result :D
and i can now make fake lightnings huahua :)
OMG this thing is fun.
anyway that's all for this week..
i'm gonna go back to watching illegally downloaded movies then :)
take care you all :D
and to those still having their exams ganbare!!!
huahuahuahuahua.

ps:this week's song is "new soul" by yael naim!!!
listen closely!!

gambar syok sendiri

2008-11-23T22:18:00.005+09:00

sorry for the late post guys...
my exams are coming la...don't blame me..
blame the school system.

anyways.
i think every single person who reads this blog knows that i'm a big fan of breakfasts.
coffee....cocoa...toast...bun...pau...tea...wantan mee...hokkien mee...
anything ah.
just throw some breakfast at me and i'll cuddle around it...
like a cat...yeah..

yup...

mmmmm....

anyway back to the breakfast thingie..
i baked melon buns this past friday...

trying my best to emulate the pictures i saw on the baking magazines...haha u be the judge!!!
huahuahuahuahua
melon buns with coffee on a cold winter morning...
huahuahuahuahuahua!!

anyway moving on!
i think i am running out of ideas...
i mean with the photos thing...
urrghhhh....
i can't think anymore..

like i mean there is photoshop...
but it doesn't work by itself you see...
you have to come up with the ideas...
you have to take the pics...
THEN you can photoshop the ideas in...
this is why i really respect those studying graphics and arts...
it's like they have a totally different brain...
seriously.
just look at all the advertisements...the television shows..the posters...they are all around us!!!!
the main reason why we find these stuff interesting is because they are something new.
they are not what we see in our daily lives.
the art guys have like different eyes....and different noses...and different hands..and different everything...
every single damn thing.
it's beautiful.
these art and graphics guys make my world a better and more beautiful place to live in.
seriously.
i am one heck of a jealous guy when it comes to that.

having that said.
most of you guys would jump to the conclusion that i am overlooking what the magic of science.

NO

STUPID.

NO

it's just that science is what i am studying.
i have a clearer picture of that.
i know how things work on this side of the road.

AAAAAAAHHHH
i know.

i yap alot.

on a lighter note.....
i now have bangs...

yeah.

i got my hair cut.

by my senior.
decided to save the 5000yen i would have spent if i went to a saloon.
and 0 yen if my senior cut it for me.
you do the maths haha :D

so in true syok-sendiri style....

NEVER EVER CLICK ON THE PICTURES!!!!
because if you do you'll see a full-resolution version of the picture...
which i'm afraid is not too good for the naked eye...haha

i guess that's all for this week...
oh and the song is from spitz this week...
an oldie..i don't know..
it just fits how i'm feeling at this moment..
listen closely..
the lyrics are great!
bubububububububu..
till then..
take care,pretties!!!

oh the pic for the week.

see the similairity??
haha

pudding

2008-11-15T12:27:00.003+09:00

bear with me just a little guys..
not gonna babble much this week.

but
look what i made!!!!!

it's called pudding cake....
pudding and cake and a cup..
pudding??
cupcake??
i don't know.

this past week was shittttttyyyyyy...
i would lurve to blurt it all out here..
but...
yeah..
you guys don't read what i type..
you guys just look at the pictures...
and whoosh away!!!
don't think i didn't know!!!!!!!
HHHAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

anyway sorry bout the boyband song this week...
haha
wanted to look back at the times i used to sing along to westlife with my sister :)
haha :D
i loved westlife...
even after Mark revealed his gayness...
haha :D
good old times...

i guess that's all for this time.
felt a little down this past week.
but yeah.
it's already the weekends.
no emo-ing on weekends!!!
it's against the rules!
take care and have a great weekend guys!

.............
........
.....
...
..
.
.
.
.
.
.

you guys know the drill...
click on the pics to have a better view.
and give zhen hui a pat on the back if you like them.
kick his butt if you don't.

till then guys...
take care!

of algorithms and wierd dreams

2008-11-09T15:17:00.002+09:00

i had a really weird dream last night...
like really weird..
REEAAALLLY weird....

wanna hear ah??
:)
kamarul was in that dream too haha
oh my god..i'm still smiling haha

u see kamarul was married in that dream...
so he and his wife..i don't really remember the wife part..
so they came across me at some place...this place was just filled with people..
JUST MASSIVE MASSIVE crowd rite..
then all of a sudden...
they said i can take their bike...
and the next scene i was already on the bike itself..
then this dude was trying to rob me...of the bike i mean..
then i stopped the bike,pulled the dude by the collar and started whacking the lights out of him!!
seriously..until his jaws broke!!
like there was blood splattering all over!!
haha
and i ended up with two bikes and a dead dude with a broken jaw...
at the road leading into my housing area...in taiping.
Ah.

oh my god
i wonder what does that dream mean??
i'm homesick?
i'm fed up of something?
i'm pressured?
i'm gonna beat the shit out of somebody?
i'm overconfident?
i want a bike?

Ah.
whatever.
you guys tell me what that dream meant to you.
perhaps that will enlighten me a little.

haha.
anyway moving on.
did you realize just how this world revolves around algorithms?
algorithms!!??
there's algorithm all around us.
i mean i don't wanna sound like a nerd and all...
BUT they are everywhere!!!!
okay maybe you knew that the computer is based on algorithms..

BUT BUT BUT
did you know that even a camera is based on maths???
HA!!!
every button man.
EVERY BUTTON.
the shutter.
the settings
the timer.
every shutter speed.
every aperture you choose.
every ISO you choose.
every white balance.
every focus point.
they are different different algorithms.
the camera works on a very large combination of algorithms...
so based on what settings you've chosen,
the camera has to complete the combination of every algorithm selected through the settings.
EVERY algorithm has to be calculated.
and all these calculations has to be completed between the moment you fully press the shutter button and the moment the shutter closes.
that is FAST!

FAST man...FAST!!!!
and do you know the d700??

the nikon babe that has live focusing??

yeah...that babe...

EVERY focus point is a different algorithm...
EVERRRRRY one of the 51 focus points..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
i know...
most of you..
i meant all of you...are most probably going
"....so what...."

it's nothing.
just thought i'd share something i've always thought as amazing with you guys.

moving on again.
this week...
i though i'd do something new.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
i don't know...
looks kinda horrible to me.
don't plan on uploading it to my flickr.

i don't know.
looks shitty.
oh well.
my first times are always shitty i guess.
that's all for this post.
ending it shittily this week haha.
i'll see what i can do next week.
maybe i'll tell you what my thesis is all about...???
that's if there is a soul caring enough to actually even WANT to know...haha
take care till then.

daydream

2008-11-03T17:45:00.004+09:00

kousen sai's finally over...
man...there's nothing fun to look forward to anymore :(

it was soooooo much fun....
why did it have to end :(

why?why?!!!!!

anyway yeah...
here you go...

we call this guy bezita...yeah the dude from dragon ball z ahaha :)

and this is baison(梅村read in katakana) haha :)
he loves making faces :D

aaaahhhhhh.....
but it was soooooo much fun :(
everything has to come to an end i guess...
oh and the photo exhibition...評価良かったんだって huahuahuahua

i guess that's all for this time....

oh oh and look what i did to my breakfast today weh

ahaha :D
macam battlefield weh!! haha
with the jam looking like blood and all

alright alright here comes the picture for this week...
ready?ready??

hope you guys liked the pictures then :)
take care till then!!!
guess i'll see you again this weekend.... :D

2008-11-02T07:22:00.003+09:00

some pictures from the kousen-sai...the live performances
SOOC(straight-out-of the-camera)
no edits yet... :(
no time..
busy..
gotta go enjoy the second day!!!
bye!!!
enjoy the pics!!!

no tag :P

2008-10-25T22:14:00.005+09:00

guys....
after DEEEEEPP consideration...
i've decided that...
it's not appropriate for me to do the tag...
haha
what..
it's not my fault the tag's questions are made specially for girl-to-girl sessions rite...

but hey if you guys really want me to do the tag just tell me...
i'll get done right away...
just don't puke when you read it haha
but i'll be working on joyce's tag though..
i'll be getting the pictures ready...tomorrow maybe??

anyway getting on with this post...
lately i have flashbacks from my childhood...
like how grandma used to scold me for kicking the football at the walls...while she watches tv that is :)
and like how i'd cycle all the way up the hill because i like how the wind blows onto my face on the way down...
how i'd play basketball alone in the mornings while papa goes to the gyms..alone too :)
and how i'd shoot free throws with him when he's done :)
hell i even when to the length of measuring the school court just to get the exact distance :)
and how my friends and i'd march and march and march as scouts...
we marched past district level and went all the way to state level independence day celebrations in fact :)
and how we'd bake ourselves in the sun tying gadgets and eating instant noodles..(that was our version of heaven back then actually)

i can go on and on...
but that's not my point today
thinking about the past...
does it mean i don't think that the present is good enough?
or is it just me being nostalgic?

other than thinking too much..
life's been good to me lately..
i think i've come to know of myself more.
aiyah dowan emo ah :)

let's keep that for another time :)
i got some good new yesterday :)
my minimovie was accepted to be on the front page of oktokino :)

got 10 bucks for that... ahaha :)
but yeah...
i sent that in like 5 months ago...
pretty late huh :)
anyway thanks LSI

i started taking pictures using film cameras :)
lomography :)
then came the d70s i got from clement :)
but hey i'm still on film though :)
focusing more on the backdoor stuff now though..the processing and developing...
it's all photography though.
sometimes i wonder where i'll end up with this photography thing...

ok lah that's all for this time i guess....

for this week's picture...
took a little planning and post-processing...some time and patience..
but i got it done :)
think pain,urm confusion,
pushed to the limits,
you try to put on a brave front.
but actually you want to give up inside.
to just end it all.

it's a pretty disturbing picture this week.

take care everyone.
stay strong!no giving up!!

to clear doubts on the picture...the guy brushing his teeth is a real person..the guy trying to kill himself is a reflection..it's what he thinks of himself...it's all in his mind...get it??get it??

and yes that's a knife at my neck ahaha :D

a peek into my darkroom

2008-10-21T21:05:00.002+09:00

this is my darkroom :)
well not MINE la actually...
it's the school's..
but i use like it's mine..
haha

nice right nice right

i know i know...
beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all...
but yeah..
sajer nak bangga huahuahua

it's dark....it smells of chemicals...especially vinegar!
and the red bulbs...haha
no dark room is complete without a red bulb :)
it's like in the film "shutter" :)
only less scarier haha

this is the machine used to "print" black and white photos...its called 焼き入れin japanese though :)

and this is me developing the prints :) the first solution is fujifix,followed by 90% acetic acid(vinegar) and lastly rinsed thoroughly in drywell :)

that's all actually :)
nothing particular...
just wanted to show u guys my darkroom :)

major project i'm planning for this weekend!
stay tuned!!

take care till then!

the mannequin series

2008-10-18T19:10:00.004+09:00

finally i'm back from nagoya
oh gosh it was fun...
the people,the buildings,the mood...
it's not as rat-racey as tokyo,not as layed-back as toyama...
逆に富山がショボイだけかな？haha
anyway nagoya was
just nice....
just.....
nice

anyway
志峰際is like 3 weeks away...oh gosh...
一応展示は出すんやけど。。。
どうなるんかね？

"うーんんんん。。。。”って流されたら,
マジぶっ殺すからね。

till then guys....
take care.
hope you liked the mannequin zhenhui haha